I'm A Bad Bad Girl....

Well, I was preparing a pretty amusing post yesterday to post today, but life as gotten in the way and I need to spill my guts.

It seems my family and apparently some of my friends think that I'm an awful person, parent, etc. and things got a little out of control last night. I can't help it that they don't agree with what's going on in my life. They would like me to be absolutely fucking alone and miserable. Really? After all that I've been through, is that what I deserve?

Hell no, it's not! I deserve to do whatever makes me happy. I'm 31 and have been through more shit than most people see in their lifetime. You know what though? I'm a far better person because of all of it. Yes, I make bad decisions sometimes. EVERYONE does. You don't agree with how I live my life? It's simple... Don't be a part of it. I'll never amount to whatever ridiculously high standards my mother has for me. Believe me, I know this and she's made it abundantly clear on numerous occasions.

The problem with all this being said about me is that it's a pretty simple example of the pot calling the kettle black.

Example #1-Getting pregnant at a VERY young age. Well mom, how old were you when you had your first kid? Oh yeah, one year older than I was.

Example #2-You party too much. No sister, I don't really. Let's break it down. When was the last time I went out? Hmm....let me think.....wow, I was still about 7 months pregnant and was the DD for all my friends. When was the last time you partied sis?? Oh yeah, that's right, Saturday you were too hungover to take care of your kid.... Yes, I have people over at my house a lot. This is because I have a small child and no babysitter. People come to me because I can't be out with them. The two older kids are out running around with their friends, and the little one is in bed usually before anyone even gets to the house.

Example #3-You don't take care of your kids. Really? My kids have everything they need. A nice place to live, they go to good schools, there's always food in my fridge, they wear freaking HOLLISTER clothing, have cable tv in both of their rooms, all the video game systems and the list goes on and on. Can I help it that my house doesn't have air conditioning? Uhh no, not unless someone wants to pay to have my entire electrical system rewired and central air put in. Of course the baby is sometimes sweaty when he wakes up. HELL, I'm sweaty most summer days when I wake up. Go ahead mom and sister, keep telling me I don't take care of my kids. Especially you sister, who leaves your kid with mom or her other grandparents AT THE MINIMUM of once a week, usually more. Sister, you also have a husband to leave her with! What the fuck ever. This one I could go on and on about...

Example #4- It's disgusting that you're seeing someone 11 years younger than you. Again, really? Why is it ok for dad to marry mom who was 10 years younger than him at pretty much the same age I've got going on right now? Sure, it's a little weird, but I don't think about the age thing. I think about him. I like him. We have a good time together. Is it long term? Probably not, but it's comfort right now. Anyone that knows me well knows that long term isn't what works for me. This is what works for me right now and as soon as he texted me last night and found out how crappy my evening was, he was right there for me to cry on. For the love of God, he works on a boat for 28 days at a time, it's not like I see him all that much!

Example #5- You have a drug and alcohol problem.... No, I do not, but thanks for labeling me with both. A LONG time ago, when you should have been paying attention to what I was doing, mom, I had a drug problem. Mom, aybe you should look at your husbands, present and past for drug and alcohol problems. Sister, your husband smokes and drinks all the time. Any time I go up to your bar and he's there I can be guaranteed to see him trashed or smoking behind the dumpster. I've smoked pot once recently, that's it. Woo fucking hoo. Sister, my alcohol problem is only as big as you're making it. Yes, I am a social drinker and I do it several times a week. Who just told me that they puked their guts out on Saturday because of their Friday night bender? Oh yeah, that's right, you did. I can't tell you the last time I puked or blacked out because I don't drink to get fucked up beyond all means. Consider this, maybe I drink because you people are such assholes....

See what I mean? I'm not half as fucked up as the other people in my life, but all the sudden it's me that's got the problems, not them. Whatever. Sorry for the downer of a post, as soon as I tell all these people that they are the ones who are fucked up and to leave me the hell alone, I'll feel better and post something happier :)

Have a good day!