I'm Gonna Be....

On the radio tomorrow!!  Woo hoo!!  Our local rock station does Facebook Friend Fridays and I got picked this week to go in and hang out!!  I'm so freaking stoked!  The morning show, Blazor & Mo in the morning, is freaking hilarious and what I listen to every day at work, so it's gonna be way cool.  Those of you who are my FB friends can read the things that Mo (Maurice) and I have been going back and forth on over the last couple of days.  It's been interesting to say the least.

Even cooler?  Comedian Christopher Titus will be there for part of the show, which is awesome!  I was a big fan of his show, Titus, and was bummed when it was canceled.

That's about it for right now, I'm taking the other Tara with me, so it should be funny.  Too bad I have no way to record it :(  Hell, maybe they'll want to make the "Toxic Twins" a regular appearance on the show :)

I probably won't get to posting tomorrow about the experience, so I'll talk to y'all on Monday.  Those of you in town or that have i <3 radio, I'll be on from 6-10am EST, 99.7 The Blitz out of Columbus.

Have an awesome weekend!

Updates & Shit Like That

I don't really have time to do a full post right now.  Work is incredibly busy and I don't have internet at home, so I'm kind of limited as to what I can do and when I can do it.  I could update from my phone, but it's not ideal.

Thank you for all your kind words regarding the roofie thing.  Nicole went to court and they moved her case to Franklin County, which isn't a good thing, but it is what it is.  Her lawyer has watched the footage of her arrest and indeed there was not a female officer present during her search, so that alone should get her out of most of her charges.  She is doing as well as can be expected right now.

Linda Lou, though I love you dearly, I can't help but feel a little bit of resentment toward your last comment.  I wasn't overdoing it that night.  Three drinks and three shots in 5 hours isn't shit.  And as far as anyone can say, I could have had one drink and this happened, hell, I could have been drinking water at a local restaurant and it could have happened.  People are fucked up and deranged and do stupid shit to others sometimes for no reason at all.  Yes, maybe it was a sign that I need to slow down, and I have significantly, but it's not going to change my attitude about going out and having a good time on the weekends.  Yes, people depend on me, but just the same as people who engage in other risky activities like skydiving or motorcycle riding, it's not going to deter me from doing it.  I just hope for those people who this HASN'T happened to, this serves as a warning that it can happen anywhere, anytime and by anyone.....

What else??  I had a pretty good weekend I guess.  April, who lives two doors down from me, had a party for her brother who leaves for the Army this week.  It was tons of fun and I got to see some people I haven't seen in a long time.  Their band played all evening, marking the last time they'll play together for the next four years and it was just a good night in general.

Sunday I went and hung out with Josh for the evening.  The whole thing with Mr. Right is a little fucked up right now (which I'm trying to fix), so of course I turned to an old standby.  We walked across the street from his house to a hole in the wall that claimed to be a sports bar, but only had one tv and country karaoke loud enough to burst your eardrums.  We sat there talking about the stuff that went wrong with us and the many reasons that even though we're supposed to be together, even though we just can't make it happen.  It was nice to have him as company, if only for just one evening.

That's about it right now.  There's lots going on, but at the same time, nothing really worthy of talking about, even if I had the time to do so.  I hope to get back to reading everyone's blogs here in the next couple of days, but I'm so far behind, it's ridiculous.  This is what happens when life gets in the way I suppose.....

Sunday Funday Turned Into Hell

Nicole and I go out on Sunday nights to watch football and hear one of our favorite bands, Acoustic Mayhem, play at one of the local joints right down the road from the house.  Last Sunday was no exception.  Both of us went our separate ways in the afternoon for family dinners and decided to meet back up around 9.  I picked her up at her place and off we went.

When we got to the bar, the band was just starting and we took our usual spot near the back of the bar.  There were only maybe 20 people in the entire place and nobody we knew besides the band and the bartenders.  Sweet, that makes for a nice low key time.  With only $40 between the two of us to spend, we knew things weren't getting out of control, like they sometimes do there.

We sat around listening to music and watching the game, just chillin and talking about Brian and other things that are going on in our lives.  At about 10:30 the band took a break and made their way around the room, chatting everyone up and having a good time.  Tom, the lead singer came to us and apologized to Nicole for not being there last weekend for her birthday and asked what she wanted him to play as her birthday song.  They settled on a song and he moved on to other people in the bar.  By this point she was two beers in and I was one Smirnoff Vanilla and coke in. 

At 11:30 I had drank two vanilla and cokes and a cherry bomb.  Not unusual for me, after the drinking I did over the weekend, I didn't even have a buzz, so we had another cherry bomb.  I think Nicole had 4 beers and two shots by this time.  We checked our tab and it was $32.  Nicole left to run home and get more cash since it was early and we were still wanting to hang out while I sat and updated my football picks and talked to Tom some more.  Truth be told, even though he's married, I totally have a crush on him.  Dark hair and blue eyes in combination with a man who plays guitar and sings totally melts me....

Oh hell, I got distracted there for a minute.....  Nicole had to come back to get her house key after she got all the way home, so it was probably 12:30 by the time she got back in the bar.  Some of the bartenders from another bar right down the street had come in and I was talking with them.  Nicole sat back down and ordered us another shot & drink.  We took the shot and then Tara, one of the bartenders that we were talking with introduced Nicole to her friend Denver, who wanted to get to know Nicole.  I sat with them and talked for a bit, then went around to the other side of the bar to talk to some guys playing pool.  When the band was done, I grabbed my drink and headed up toward the front to talk to the band and my dude Lance that I had called to come up and hang out.

Nicole and Denver called me back to where they were to do another shot.  I declined seeing as it was Rumplemintz and Jack Daniels.  Yuck.  I don't drink brown liquor.  It makes me a violent drunk.  They had their shot and I turned back to my people I was talking to.  This is where things get fuzzy...

I remember one guy having like 10 shots in front of us and everyone trying to get me to do one.  Seeing again that they were brown, I declined.  After that, my head is blank.  What you'll read below are what we've gathered of other people's versions of the night.

I woke up Monday morning to my mom screaming at me on the other end of the phone that I was late to work to find two of the tires on my car severely damaged and no recollection of getting home.  What.The.Fuck?

One of my tires was popped, so I set out to put the spare tire on, failing at it because the jack for my car was retarded.   A policeman stopped by and changed it for me and I was off to work, being extra cautious because the back rim was bent up as well.  What the hell had happened?  I looked at my phone and saw 8 missed calls from Nicole at 4:45 in the morning.  I quickly call her back.

When Nicole answered the phone she sounded dead.  I asked her what happened and she gave me a simple "I don't know" and burst into tears.  Her last recollection of the night was talking to Denver at the bar and then waking up in the police station handcuffed to a bench.  What.The.Fuck?  My sister picked her up from the police station at almost 5am when she called her to tell her she had been arrested and had no idea why.  Melinda went in and the cops told her "Good luck with that" and pointed to Nicole.  Melinda asked Nicole what happened and Nicole had no clue.  My sister took the citations from her and read them off.  OVI, refusal to blow after previous OVI, driving in marked lanes, no operators license and resisting arrest.  WTF?
The most shocking out of these is the resisting arrest charge.  Nicole is scared to death of police.  Not that anyone likes the police, but it's some weird phobia of hers.

I text Lance, who didn't even drink while he was up there with us to see what the hell was going on, telling him I think we were roofied.  He texted me back and said "Did someone bail Nicole out of jail?"  I asked how he knew Nicole was in jail.  He said "I talked to the cops.  How do you think your car got in the driveway?"  Apparently Nicole called me as she was getting pulled over and Lance talked to her.  She was being pulled over right down the street from my house and he knew she didn't have a driver's license, so he ran down there to keep my car from getting towed.  When he got there, Nicole was kicking the windows of the cop car and screaming at the police.  They asked Lance to try and calm her down, but since she doesn't like Lance, he figured that would be a bad idea and asked them to let him drive my car back to the house since it was so close.  They were reluctant, but let him.  Apparently he decided he wasn't driving home that late and stayed at my house.

Nothing made any sense to me at that point.  Three drinks and three shots in 5 hours isn't likely to even give me a buzz, let alone make me blackout, especially after a weekend of binge drinking and a positively huge meal at 6:30.  Why was Nicole driving my car?  I would have never given her the keys if I felt she was that fucked up.  Where are my memories of all this?

Lance and I texted some more and I was even more disturbed.  He told me that Nicole and I got into a fight in the parking lot and I was walking home.  Two of our friends that were leaving convinced me to get into the truck with them and they dropped me off at home, where Lance met me.  I asked him if I just went in the house and passed out.   He said after sex I did.  What?  I had sex?  Lance asked me if I was joking.  I told him no.  I asked if I was passed out and he fucked me.  I got an "umm, no, I can show you evidence you were an active participant.  Besides, I've got morals and wouldn't do that to you."  Holy Fuck.  I asked why he didn't stay, he said he did.

After this, I posted a message on Facebook asking who knew what happened last night.  I get a message from Chad, one of the bartenders, saying he knew everything that happened until he left so I texted him.  He confirmed that Nicole and I were fighting and I said I was walking home.  Then he said that another guy was trying to get the keys away from Nicole and she was screaming at him, so he offered to take her home or call a cab.  She wasn't having any of that after what happened with him the week before and tore off out of the parking lot almost hitting the first guy that was trying to take the keys.  Between the bar and where she got pulled over, we don't know what happened to the car.  It looks like she curbed it, but she would have had to have gone left of center, all the way up onto a curb because both the front and back drivers side tires were busted up.

Nicole spends pretty much all of Monday throwing up and crying.  I feel like I've been hit by a bus.  I drive over to her house at lunch because I have no cigarettes and strangely enough, all of the cash I had was gone.  We sit in her garage trying to pull pieces of the night together, but don't come up with anything else.  This will be her 3rd OVI, so she's going to jail without the understanding of just how she got as intoxicated as she was and why nobody took her home.  I start looking on line for information on roofies and the side effects of the drug.  Holy fuck, that's exactly what happened, I think as I read over the side effects of Rohypnol.  It starts with the first phase of feeling buzzed, then moves to periods of blackout with full consciousness lasting anywhere from 1-5 hours, causing some people to become extremely violent.

Nicole and I try to think of who could have done this to us.  We weren't really around anyone all night, keeping to ourselves, besides when the other bartenders came in.  There's no way it was one of them.  They weren't even close to our drinks.  Other than them, we couldn't think of anyone who was even close enough to do it.  WTF?  I tell Nicole to pee in a cup just in case there's any evidence left and call her lawyer.

That night when I get home I call my neighbor Tim to check out my car.  Of course he asks me what happened, so I tell him.  He can't believe that Nicole would ever act like that and we go over the car to try and figure out what to do.  Rims for a Sebring are super expensive and hard as hell to find used.  Nobody has one, so basically I'm fucked and am going to have to buy two $300 rims and a tire.  Fuck...

I go down to April's house to hang out and vent and they can't believe what happened.  Just then, my mom pulls into my driveway unannounced.  Great.....  All I need right now is her up in my business....  I walk back down to the house to see what she wants.  Apparently she wants custody of my kids because she doesn't think they're well taken care of.  What the fuck ever....  I explain to her that her taking them would only be a catalyst for me to fall further into a hole because then I wouldn't have any reason to come home at all and probably wouldn't.  Yeah, my life sucks right now.  I'm so far behind in bills that every week something is getting turned off, but I can't get a second job because of circumstances I'd rather not talk about.  In a nutshell I tell her to fuck off and she leaves.

I call it a night early.  I can't stand that fact that one of my best friends could be going to jail for quite awhile because of all this and can't sleep.  Tuesday comes all too quickly and I really don't feel any better.  Hungover is the best word I can use to describe it, but even that's not even quite it.  I muddle through the day knowing my car won't make it out to pickup Little E and finally give in and ask my mom to borrow her car.  She agrees and I leave to get him.  When I get home, my friend Donovan goes and gets my car because now it has two flat tires.  Fuck.  Tim sees them drop the car off and comes down.  He manages to pound one of the rims back into place and fixes the donut tire so I can get to work this morning.

I found a tire for the rim Tim pounded out last night.  Hopefully enough air stays in the tire to get me back to my side of town to get it put on.  Then we'll switch the donut to the back tire and try to pound that one out.  It's the best I can do right now in the financial situation I'm in.  I'm lucky to have good people around to help me out.

On my way to work this morning, I got an interesting piece of information that might just patch this whole thing together.  Monday night my sister's ex-boyfriend was sitting at the bar where all of this happened.  He overheard Chad telling a guy at the bar that the previous Sunday night he drove a girl named Nicole and her roommate Melinda home and fucked them both.  Hearing the names Nicole and Melinda together, the ex knew it was more than a coincidence and called my sister yesterday to ask her about it.  Melinda told him that indeed Chad did drive them home because they went from zero to shitfaced in a matter of minutes.  They got back to the house and they told Chad he could sleep on the couch.  Nicole woke up to him in her bed.  When she kicked him out apparently he went into Melinda's room and tried to sleep there.  When they woke up in the morning he was gone.

It dawned on me.  He was testing the roofies out last weekend, seeing how far he could get with either of them playing the nice guy taking them home.  This weekend would have been the exact same thing, except for the fact that Nicole went into her violent rage and he backed off.  Either that or he was scared off by one of the other guys.  If someone else who saw all of that in the parking lot would come forward, I'd like to talk to them.  I'm sure I'll see someone out & about soon and we'll see what happens.....

For now, Nicole has a good lawyer and my car is slowly but surely getting fixed.  I've never had this happen to me before and hope to God it never happens again.  My trust has completely been broken though, if you can't trust your bartender, who can you trust?

I'm Going To Pretend......

That everything is ok and tell you about most of my weekend, because until Sunday night, it was pretty fucking stellar.  After then, I feel like I'm living in a personal hell and I've drug one of my friends into it.  We'll talk about that later though.

Where did we leave off??  Oh yeah, Mr. Right, Brian.  I pretty much spent every evening with him last week and have to say, I think he's great.  In fact, Thursday when I got an email saying I won tickets to the Ohio State/Ohio U football game, I didn't think twice before inviting him to go with me.  I have never been to a game and even though I'm not a fan of either team, I wanted to check it out.  Everybody says you have to go and experience the Horseshoe once.  I texted him and of course he was more than excited to go, so we made plans for Saturday.

Thursday my day got screwed up by a sick kid at daycare.  I knew Wednesday night when I picked up Little E at Jordan's that he wasn't feeling well.  Jordan said that he got poked in the eye by a toy and that's why he was all swollen up and red.  Ok......  I took him to daycare in the morning and by 10:30 they were calling to tell me he had a fever of almost 102.  I had to leave work early that day anyway, so I went and got him and took him to the doctor.   Besides a nasty chest virus, the kid has pinkeye.  Seriously?  Thanks for that Jordan, you douchebag....

Friday the kid wasn't any better, but I had to go to work for a few hours.  I took him with me.  Nobody else is in the office when I get in at 7, so I figured I had one good hour to have him sit and eat while I did my work.  Yeah right, he's a toddler.  Instead of eating and coloring, he was doing shit like this.....

Good stuff right there for sure.  He's such a little turd.  By 10:00 I've had enough and we head out.  I text Brian letting him know I'm off work and he asks if I would drive out to where he was working and we could have lunch with him.  Umm, ok.  I never take E anywhere, simply because I prefer to not deal with a toddler in public.  This should be fun.  We go home for a quick nap and then head out for lunch.

I met him at the entrance to the small town he's working in, then followed him down to a hole in the wall diner that quite possibly had the best grilled ham and cheese sandwich I've had in my entire life.  E is trying not to be miserable, but being able to see out of pretty much only one eye is pissing him off.  Finally we get our food and everyone is good for a minute.  He keeps getting phone calls from his job site, so we make quick work of lunch and head out.  I thank him for lunch, E gives him a high five and I tell him I'll see him later that night.

We get back home and nap again.  This time E wakes up half an hour later screaming like someone is cutting his leg off.  WTF?  I go into his room and he's drenched in sweat.  As I pick him up, I realize that he's burning up.  Fuck.  I take his temperature and it's 103.8.  Fuck.  I give him some Tylenol and try to comfort him.  It's not working.  I'm not a nurturing mother.  I lack that comforting aura that children need.  It's apparent really quickly that he's not going to settle down and wants to be left alone.  I lay him on my bed and call the doctor's office.  They tell me it's probably just the virus getting worse and there really isn't anything they can do for him as long as he's still eating and drinking.  Fuck.  Ok then.  Jordan is due to pick him up in about an hour, so I guess we just suffer until he gets there.

Damn that was a long hour.  By the time Jordan gets there the fever is down to 101.  That's a little better.  I say goodbye to E sort of doing a happy dance inside because I won't see him for 5 days.  Back into my room for a nap.  Brian calls around 7 to let me know he's dropping his kids off then he'll be over.  Once he gets to my house, he says he needs to go to the mall and get something to wear because he didn't feel like doing laundry.  Umm, ok.  The mall is right down from my house, so we head over there where he proceeds to drop almost $100 on some shirts, followed quickly by another $80 for an Ohio State jersey for the game.  I might be in love.  Do you know how long it's been since I've dated anyone who can just go out and buy whatever they want and be ok with it?

After we're done at the mall he has to go back out to his house and get all his stuff for Saturday.  Someone wasn't very well prepared Friday night.....  I'm slightly annoyed because it's already 9:30 and we were supposed to be at the birthday party by then.  In addition, from the mall it's about a 30 minute drive to his house.  We go over there and get all that sorted out and we're off to the brother-in-law's birthday party up at their bar.  I introduce Brian to everyone and we move off to our own table, spending the rest of the evening just talking and hanging out listening to a good band.  By 1 we figure we should head out since we have to be up early for the game. 

Saturday morning I wake up late.  I have to go and get my oil changed because my car is running like shit.  I do that, go pick up Nicole and when I get home, Gavin and Brian are sitting at the table eating McDonalds.  Great, ya met another one of the kids and took him to breakfast.....  I hurry them out the door to soccer so that I can get ready to go tailgate before the game.  Brian tells me he told Gavin we'd go to the game for a bit.  WTF?  Ok then.  We get ready, head to the soccer game for an hour and then down to campus.

What to say about that whole experience?  Very cool.  Anyone who knows me knows that Ohio State fans bug the shit out of me.  They're rude and often times out of control, setting cars and dumpsters on fire, win or lose.  Ugh.  We wander around for a bit ducking in and out of bars for drinks.  All at once it hits me, I'm not appropriately dressed....  I have a short sleeve shirt on, but I'm roasting and it's only getting hotter.  Fuck.  I don't have any money.  He notices how uncomfortable I am and asks what's wrong.  I tell him and all the sudden we're off to one of the corner shops to get me a new shirt.  Whew.  I find a tank top and am much better.  He bought it for me, but since he did, I had to wear a tattoo on my face the rest of the day.  He knew I was hating every minute of it and got a kick out of it.

Pay no attention to the fact my sunglasses are crooked as fuck on my face.  Other than that it's a cute pic taken by a drunk homeless man....  On our way over to the game, Brian decided our free C deck tickets weren't good enough.  He went to a scalper, gave him our tickets and $40 for two A deck seats.  They were awesome.  This pic is a pretty good representation of where we were location wise.

The people next to us actually owned the seats we were in.  They said that their son didn't come down for the game, so they sold them to the scalper.  Curious to know what a seat license costs we asked.  The seat license for the four seats they had cost $5,000 a year, then they have to buy all four tickets for each game, at $70 each, which adds another $2200 to the cost....  Holy crap that's expensive......  At least they were nice cushioned seats with backs....  But people were so smooshed together it was kinda uncomfortable, especially since it was so hot and everyone was sweaty.  We were going to stay for the whole game, but it was such a blowout we decided to beat traffic and head out at the start of the 4th quarter, which would get us back to my side of town in time for Gavin's 2nd game.

He dropped me off at the soccer fields and headed home.  I had plans with friends that night, so I told him I'd talk to him later.  He thanked me again for taking him with me and left.  I watched Gavin's game and headed home for a much needed nap before we went out for the night.

Nicole was over at my house and ready to go around 9.  I was still sitting down the street not showered and lacking motivation.  Once I finally got ready, a bunch of people decided they were coming out with us and we began our bar crawl.  It was interesting to say the least.  Everyone had a really good time until the one dumb whore in the group had to go and ruin it by making out with someone else's boyfriend.  End of the night right there..... And for the record, it wasn't me.  Nicole and I headed back to the house and passed out because I had to be up for a 7am soccer game on Sunday.

We'll end this here, because Sunday was where all the trouble started.....

Goodbye To All The Mr. Right Nows... For Now.....

Friday night I really didn't have plans, but everyone in the hood decided that they were going into town for the Old Hilliard festival.  I wasn't going to hang out by myself all night, so I tagged along.  Everyone piled into cars and we formed a caravan to drive the whole two blocks away to the festival.  When we got over there, roads were blocked off and people were everywhere.  Bands were playing and everyone was just generally having a good time.  Sweet, this should make for an interesting night......

I had already consumed an entire 32 oz. adult beverage while chillin in the hood.  I was good to go and looking hot, because hey, who knew where the evening was going to go and I had already been hitting on a hot young one over at April's house.  I walk into the local watering hole because the festival is happening right at the intersection of our two favorite bars, and order a drink.  I manage to find most of the people I've arrived with outside under the big tent listening to music and mingling.  There are tons of people out that I haven't seen in ages.  Much small talk later, I make my way out to the front patio to see what's going on out there.

About the time I hit the door to the patio, Gavin comes running by me.  Since the festival was open to all ages and the local watering hole is technically a restaurant, there were kids all over the place.  I ask him how the hell he got up there and he tells me they walked.  Ok then kid, be home by 10.  That was the last I saw of him.  I talk to some more people and turn to see him walk out the door to the patio.

How many years has it been, 10?  15?  Probably more like 15.  He still looks exactly the same as he did in high school..... HOT.  I continued my conversation with some people as I noticed him stop about 2 feet away from me and look over.  Our eyes meet as he tries to figure out how he knows me. I finished up my conversation and turned to go back into the bar for another drink.  "Hey, I know you," I hear from one side of me.  I reply back with a sly "Sure you do, everyone knows me."  He's amused.  I stick out my hand and tell him my name.  "That's right, you're a sister."  Yes, yes I am.  His friend asks me how my sisters are doing and we are all standing there catching up on the last decade or so.  

He's not a person I would normally associate myself with, knowing who he was back in the day, yet I'm strangely pulled in.  He talks about his kids and I don't flinch or run away.....   He asks about mine and doesn't get all weird when I tell him about them.  It's the dark hair and blue eyes.  They get me every time.....

It's suggested that we go inside and have a shot.  Ok, I'm game to keep up with the boys tonight.  I've got just the right amount of alcohol in me that I think all this is a good idea.  Two hours and 5 Cherry Bombs later Tara finds me bellied up to the bar having a good old time.  She tells me it's time to go to Lucky's.  Umm ok, but I'm taking this boy with me.  She gives me a look indicating how bad of an idea it might be and pulls me aside to tell me Josh is at Lucky's.  Fucking awesome, he's newly single again and probably going to try to fuck with me, so I'm definitely taking this boy with me.  We settle our tabs and go down the street, leaving his friends behind.
 
Lucky's is busy and I'm obviously drunk.  I didn't have any money all week, so my tolerance was somewhat down....  Well for me anyway.  I'm in my hooker boots, so falling is probably in my foreseeable future.  I order him and I a drink and spot Josh across the room.  He's not with anyone I know other than Mike.  Sweet.   I excuse myself from the bar and walk over, interrupting their conversation, looking around.  "So, I can see you've obviously downgraded friends here, what is this your mom's table or a fat old lady convention?" He's not amused as I turn away with a smile on my face knowing I pissed him off.  I get the other boy and head out to the patio.   Tara is already out there smoking, so we plop down at the table.  I knock over my full drink on my phone.  Fuck.  I'm not drunk, I'm wasted at this point.  The phone is ok, but I'm clearly not.

From what I hear, a bunch of our friends showed up.  I had no clue until I started getting text messages the next day regarding my behavior.  My friend Chris texted me and asked how my ass was.  Umm, ok?  I messaged back and said fine, why?  He said well I smacked your ass so hard everyone on the patio turned and looked last night. Tara confirmed.  The bruise on my ass confirmed.  Nice.  There are pictures on my camera indicating that they were all there.  Too bad I don't remember any of it.  Apparently I had to be driven home.  Well, not to my home.  Saturday morning I woke up at the boy's house not remembering how we got there.  I had plans with my mom that morning, so I quietly left.

I get outside happy to see both my car and my shoes.  Nobody wants to lose hundred dollar boots, ya know?  I'm on a street that dead ends, so I pull out of the neighborhood having no clue where I am.  Shit.  I really have no idea where I am.  I could be on the east side of Columbus for all I know.  Luckily I have gps on my phone so I set it to take me home.  20 minutes later I was pulling into my driveway.  Damn, that was a long drive.

I hurry up and get showered seeing as my mom is supposed to be at the house by 10.  I might still be a little drunk as I'm getting ready.  He calls me while I'm in the shower and leaves me a voicemail disappointed I left without saying goodbye.  Oops, my bad.  I don't call him back because I'm short on time.  Mom gets to the house and we leave for the street fair.  He calls again an hour later.  I don't answer because I'm with my mom and I really don't need to be talking about my drunken sexcapades the night before.  I text him and tell him I'll call him when I'm done with her.  Eventually I call him.  He doesn't answer.  I lay down for a nap and he calls wanting to see me later that night.  Ok, well I guess someone wasn't deterred by my drunkenness last night....  I tell him I can't, unless he wants to come to Nicole's birthday party that I'm hosting.  He has his kids, so he can't.  Humm, bummer.....  We settle on maybe he'll be able to find a sitter for a few hours and he'll call me if he can come out.

The rest of Saturday was spent at soccer in Dayton.  God I hate driving over there.  The things we do for our kids though right?  I rush back just in time to hop in the shower, grab an outfit and get Nicole before we're late to her 30th birthday party.  The party was a huge hit.  Lots of people came out to party with us and I believe I managed her drinking pretty well.  There was no throwing up or passing out, so I consider that a successful night.  By the time I got home from dropping all the drunks off, it was 4am.  Shit, another late night, but it was totally worth is to see my girl have a great birthday.  He called me while I was at the party letting me know he couldn't make it out, but his door would be unlocked if I could make it over after I was done.

Needless to say I wasn't driving all the way out there at 4am.  Sunday morning I get a text that says: I woke up alone :(  Later in the day we talked and he understood why he woke up alone and asked me to come over and chill Sunday night.  I told him I'd get a hold of him after my mom and Nicole's birthday dinner, not committing, just in case something better came along.

Who am I kidding?  I got the kiddos off to bed and went over to hang out.  We sat around talking and just getting to know each other.  The more he talked, the more I was interested in him.  He has sole custody of his two boys, ages 12 & 9, owns his own business, has his own house (which is actually nice), cars, pretty much everything I'm looking for in a guy.

I left Sunday night with a smile on my face, further enhanced by him texting me thanking me for hanging out and asking when he could see me again.  Wow, how long has it been since someone has been that nice to me?  A long, long time.  I told him it would probably be later in the week and he seemed disappointed.  We've both got a lot going on with kids, so it'll be tough to get together during the week.

He called me yesterday and we talked for a bit.  Since we both had pretty rough weekends and were up late, he said he was just going to chill and go to bed early.  Cool, I should probably do the same thing.  I had to pickup Nicole from work and was hoping that it would be early so I could go to bed.  It was, but she had other plans for us to hang out.  He called me again around 9:30 telling me his friend and his girl were coming out to hang out asking if I wanted to so it wouldn't be weird because he didn't know the girl.  Ugh, I really didn't want to, but I did.  I like spending time with him, so I dropped Nicole off and headed out there.  Much fun was had between the 4 of us downing a bottle of Grey Goose and shooting pool.  I was too buzzed to drive home and there weren't kids there anyway, so eventually I just crawled into his bed and passed out.  5:30 came all too early this morning......

I'll post Nicole's birthday pics in a separate post, but here's one of me and Brian from this weekend.  Told ya he was hot.  Too bad I look as wasted as I was, otherwise it'd be super cute :) 

On A Lighter Note Part 2

Friday morning was slightly more than rough.   I woke up to kids yelling at me because I didn't wake them up for school.  I don't know what the big deal was, because they weren't late, but whatever.  I got little E up for daycare, praising baby jesus that I didn't have to deal with him the rest of the weekend and ran him over there.  After that, I crawled back in my bed and didn't get back out of it until noon.....  Well that's kind of a lie.  I woke up at noon, but didn't crawl out of bed till like 2.  Then I did a load of laundry, said hello to the big kids when they got home from school and laid back down for a nap at 4, not waking up until 7.

Finally at 7 I decided that I should motivate because I had plans to go see the neighbor's band on Friday night.  By 9:30 I was out the door.  The evening was going ok until the story that I told you two posts ago went down.
Here are some pics of the band though.  Since they practice two doors down from me, I get the pleasure of hearing all of their music all evening, pretty much every evening, but I still like to be supportive and go out to see them.

Note, I might have a little crush on the skinny boy playing the bass.  He's all cute & has this adorable little stutter, lol!! 

Lance met me at home and I passed out pissed off at the world.  Saturday morning I woke up early, because we had a soccer tournament.  Gavin played awesome, scoring 3 goals in the first game.  I can't even tell you how long it's been since I've seen him do that.  It was really awesome.  They ended up winning both games for the day and afterward we went home to nap. 

Since Tara and I were supposed to be co-hosting a party on Saturday night and I obviously wasn't going after everything that happened on Friday night, I had nothing to do on Saturday night and no money even if I could find something to do.  I managed to get up, shower and get dressed, but I made the fatal mistake of laying back down while waiting on someone to text or call and fell asleep.  I didn't wake up again until 7:45 the next morning.  Apparently my body needed some rest.  It was ok with me, I don't feel like I missed out on anything.

Sunday was another full day of soccer, then out for Sunday Funday.  Since I didn't go out Saturday night, I had to on Sunday.  Plus there's a guy I TOTALLY have the hots for that plays an acoustic set at one of our bars on Sunday nights.  I mean, who doesn't like a boy who can sing and play the guitar??  Plus, he's got dark hair and blue eyes, need I say more??? 

Nicole, her friend Tabby and I head up to the bar after we pickup Nicole from work.  I'm sad because my band boy isn't there because it's a holiday weekend :( Sad....  In other news, another person from my past is there with a bunch of his friends.  It's Brent.  A guy who years and years ago was really good friends with Nick.  We spent pretty much every holiday with them and they were like family, even though he was pretty unbalanced.  His wife was truly an awesome person for putting up with him for so long.  I guess that got old and she left him.  He was in town with some friends for the weekend.  I didn't even realize he was there until he came over and said hello.  We talked for a minute, but I was there hanging with my girls, so I pretty much ignored him.  Tabby convinced Nicole's mom to come out, since Tabby lives out of town and this happened:

Yep, shots started flowing.  I'm not sure Nicole's mom intended on all that, but whatever, I think she had a good time!  Eventually I got bored with the conversation and wandered over to talk to Brent and his friends.  I got grabbed by one of them on the way over and got a "Tara *(#*$&$*$(, I haven't seen you in forever, do you remember me?"  Umm, no, no I don't, but you're kinda hot, I thought to myself.  What came out of my mouth was more like "umm, no, who are you?"  "It's me John *&*(&.  You remember, from Tara and John's house!"  Oh yeah, I do remember you.  Take those silly glasses off and let me wear them:

Yeah, those are the glasses he was wearing and he looked like Clark Kent.  Yummy..... If only his tongue was in his mouth for this picture......  Oh well, I digress......

I talked with these guys for a long time and it's settled that we'll all go back to my house and party.  10 minutes after I walked in the door, the cops come to my door saying that people are complaining of the noise. 

WHAT.THE.FUCK?  I had been home 10 minutes.  My next door neighbors are going down.  This is like the 10th time in the last month and a half that they've been at my house.  Can't they look at their records and see that I've never been a nuisance before and that it's just these assholes that moved in next door?  Anyway, as usual the cops left with a warning and we all just chilled around the house.  Monday morning I got stuck taking everyone home since I was the one that drove.  This did not make me happy in the slightest.... After I was done, I came back home and napped until it was time to picnic at mom's house, where I filled up on yummy food that I feel like I haven't had in ages since I've been too broke to afford much more than macaroni and grilled cheese.

Monday night I was in bed early because, ugh, back to work Tuesday.  Luckily it's only another 4 day work week!  I swear, next week when I go back to 5 days, it's gonna drag so much.  It's been like 6 weeks since I've worked a full week and let me tell ya, that's not bothering me a bit, but now that I have new vacation days I don't wanna use them all up this early!!

Happy Wasted Wednesday Hump Day Peeps!

On A Lighter Note Part 1

The weekend didn't entirely suck.  I think I went out every single night last week and had good times.  Tuesday night I ran into a guy I haven't seen in FOREVER who let me know that Nick was back in town.  Nice to know considering I swear I almost hit him with my car a couple of weeks ago and his phone's turned off, so I can't get a hold of him.  Where is he when I need some cash?  Nowhere to be found as usual.  Though this person would tell me where he's staying, he assured me the he was comfortably sleeping right down the street from the bar we were at.  I know all his spots right around there, so he'll turn up.  Hopefully before my water gets shut off.....

Wednesday I don't even remember what happened.  Oh yeah, I do.  I got a text from Donnie asking me if I wanted to have drinks since he was back in town for awhile.  Since I was busy with kid stuff I told him maybe later, with a sneaking suspicion that something might be up.  I don't remember if I wrote about it or not, but I used to work with Donnie.  He was kind of an asshole back then, basically exuding the aura that he was better than everyone.  I saw him about a month ago and we got to talk and one thing led to another......  This was right around the time Blue Eyes was briefly ignoring me.  Some stuff went down at the bar that night before we left, so imagine my surprise when I was texting Blue Eyes the  next day and he mentioned that he and Donnie were friends......   Oops, DAMN IT!!!  Anyways, fast forward to Wednesday and Donnie's text.  I was out earlier in the evening with Tara and Mike & they decided to call it a night.  I texted Donnie to see if he was still out and he said yeah, come over to the Nike, I'm sitting here with Blue Eyes. 

Fuck... Busted.  Right then I get a text from Blue Eyes that says "What's up playa?"  Not one to let anyone get me down, I go to the Nike, walking in with my head held high squeezing right up between the two of them saying "How are two of my favorite boys doing tonight?"  They were floored that I acted like I wasn't bothered that they knew.  We actually had a decent time and I guess there aren't any hard feelings over the whole thing since I've heard from both of them since then.  I know that Blue Eyes was the one hurt in the whole grand scheme of things, but he told me he didn't want a relationship and since I never sealed the deal with him, I don't feel like what I did was out of place.

I had a couple of drinks on their dime and headed out, by myself.  As I was leaving the Nike, my dude Lance called and wanted to have drinks, so I met him closer to home.  We had a few drinks then headed back to my house to hang out.  I'll be real honest, I like Lance.  He's a nice guy.  Drawback?  He's super good friends with Josh.  The fail of epic proportions from last weekend with Josh has every reason to do with me and Lance hooking up.  Oh well, I guess Josh shouldn't have given him my number.

Thursday was a weird day at work.  I was hungover, but not bad enough that I couldn't function.  Most people didn't work that day because it was the Buckeyes season opener and they spent the day down on campus tailgating.  Me?  Well, I really didn't give a flying fuck about the Buckeyes.  I stayed home for most of the game until my dude Tim convinced me to go up to my sister's bar since they were all up there.  I went, none too happy that I was driving all that way by myself, but once I got there I was happy to be around some different people.  I spotted Michael, who I haven't heard from in like a month or so and he came over to talk to me. 

I don't know that I've ever talked about Michael.  He and I have this weird thing that's kind of hard to explain...  And he's like 23......  He apologized that it's been so long since he's called me, but lost his phone, which in turn meant he lost all his numbers.  Ok, whatever.  He wants to hang out that night, but I have to go and get Nicole from work.  I tell him to text me when he's done there and we'll hang out later.  Ok then.  I leave to go and get Nicole, kinda bummed out because I was having a good time and we hit a local bar.  Around 2 Michael calls and says he's coming to my side of town and we're going swimming.  Umm, ok then...  We meet him at a random apartment complex, hop the fence get undressed and the 5 of us go swimming and chill in the hot tub.  Good times until I trip jumping in the pool on the ledge and wake up with this the next morning:

The good news is that it only hurts when pressed on....  It was a good time until Nicole thought we left her there and took off with my car and my clothes.... Drunk bitch.  We finally got her back there and I took both of them to their houses and ended my day around 5am.  Good thing I didn't have to work on Friday.....

To Be Continued (because this shit's getting long....)

Unfriended........

This is one of the earliest digital pictures I have of us, circa 2000.  Actually, I remember this night.  It was New Year's Eve 2000, where I was drinking, got high, puked, passed out and was back up in time to watch the ball drop at midnight.  This is also when I realized you don't mix drink and smoke.....

Anyway, that's not the point of this post.  Where I'm going with this is somewhere totally different.  If you've been reading me long, you'll know that I'm sitting in the middle of my two best friends in this picture, 12 freaking years ago.  Tara to the left and Nicole to the right.  This weekend, I lost my oldest friend.  Not to disease, accident or some other awful tragedy.  To a man. 

I've been friends with Tara somewhere like 15 years now.  She wanted to kick my ass because I stole her sister's boyfriend in like 1994.  In 1995 when I got a job at Wendy's, she worked there and we became the best of friends.  We have pretty much raised our kids together and she was there for the births of both Gavin and Evan.  I have seen her do some dumb shit, like getting back with her daughter's father and stood by, not saying a word.  I knew that her moving half way across the country to be with him was a mistake, but I let her go.  I knew that when she got with her 2nd husband that things would go badly and they did.  Things are still bad with him and that's why the relationship she's in now is failing.

It's not because of me, it's because she's still in love with him.  As shitty of a person as he is, he is her "one" and she can't let go.  I know the feeling, I've written about my "one".   Tara and Mike fight frequently.  He says that it's because I'm jealous of their relationship.  Maybe I am, but I would never do anything to sabotage her happiness, despite me being miserable not being allowed to hang out with her anymore.  He's got her on a tight leash because he doesn't trust her.  Truth be told, I don't blame him.  I wouldn't trust her either.  She's a serial cheater who doesn't know how to act in a good relationship.  The problem is that she's lying constantly about what she's doing and where she is, which makes me look shady when she's with me, in turn making me look like the one who's getting her to do the things she does.

The long and the short of it is that Friday night the whole neighborhood went to see April's brothers band play.  I was there, but not hanging out with Tara & Mike because Tara was being weird.  Whatever, there were tons of other people there and I was having a good time mingling with my people.  Apparently Mike and a few other people were spilling some bedroom secrets and one person turned around and asked Tara about it.  Tara was mortified and started to walk out of the bar.  I happened to be standing on the patio and she said "I've gotta leave, come with me."  Now, I'm not going to let my best friend leave the bar by herself, especially when she's been drinking that much, so I tell her to grab my stuff from the table while I pee and we'll go.

We left and went down the street to another bar so she could cool off.  Her intention was not to cool off though, it was to seek out the ex.  As soon as I realize this, I make a quick swoop of the parking lot to make sure he's not there.  Thank God, he's not.  Mike has said the next time she's at a bar and he's there, he's leaving her.  I don't need that out on me. We go in to have a drink.  Mike starts blowing up her phone talking all sorts of shit about me.  Please people, tell me what the fuck I had to do with all this?  Finally tired of hearing him scream at her I text him with a simple "Fuck you, quit making me the scapegoat for all of your problems."  He responds "Fuck you, I don't want my woman out whoring around all the time with you."    Oh shit.  Really?  The war has started.

We go back to the bar so she can get her kid (it was an all ages show out on the patio) and I'm distracted by a boy I know as soon as I come in the door.  I eventually make my way to the patio and everyone is arguing.  I'm not getting involved with it, so I go back inside.  April asks if I'll pit stop at the gas station for beer for her.  I agree and leave, not trying to get in the middle of anything else.  I pick up the beer and head home. 

After I get there, I text Tara and tell her I'm not coming to the party that I'm supposedly co-hosting with her the next night and that I'm done with the her and Mike drama.  She texts me back telling me that he and I just need to get along.  Nope, sorry, I'm done.  You have settled with the fact that he's your forever, go for it.  I'm done.  End of conversation.

I don't hear from her for the rest of the weekend.  I'm not gonna lie, it hurts.  Those of you who have been around here for awhile know that she's my other half.  My "life partner" as our friend Sandi calls us or the other half of the "toxic twins" my ex-husband calls us.

Yesterday I was Facebook creepin to see if she had wrote anything about me.  Turns out she unfriended me.  So did he.... Ouch, that hurts.  I can see it out of him maybe, but not her.  I ask Nicole if she's talking shit about me and nicole screen pix a shot about me putting her in my "creeper" file (which I have, but didn't put her in) so she would take care of the problem.  Ugh whatever.

It looks like this could be the end of an era here folks.  I don't know that as long as he's around that things are ever going to be the same.  She's certainly not going to let go of him.  He's her cash cow right now, paying bills she can't afford to.  This has happened before though, she lost pretty much all of her friends when she got with husband number 2 because he had such tight control of her.  I'm sad......

R.I.P The Toxic Twins......

It's All About Feeling Better

For some reason yesterday it hit me.  I woke up after a late night out and actually felt good.  I still feel good.  It's almost like that whole section of my brain has been turned off and I'm somewhat at peace now.   Good stuff for sure.

This morning I went through my phone and got rid of a bunch of phone numbers that I'm not interested in having anymore.  As much as I wanted to delete Josh, I didn't.  I know that he and I have unfinished business that will have to be taken care of at some point.  Right now he's madder (is that a word?) than hell at me and it's making me giggle.  Stupid boy, should have known better than to mess with me because payback is certainly a bitch.....

What else?  Oh yeah, I'm returning to the scene of some of the most retarded years of my life tonight.  High school.  I actually get to walk Brandon's daily schedule and meet his teachers.  I haven't been in that building other than to go to orientation in almost 15 years.  Hell, the years I was there I didn't put in as much time as I should have, graduating with like the lowest GPA possible.  I was too busy worrying about what my friends that didn't go to school were doing and smoking pot.  I had to pay for my own college, so I took it a whole lot more serious.  I also didn't wanna be the single mom with two kids making a measly living waiting tables for the rest of my life.  I grew up watching my mom do that, so I was determined to do something with myself. Thanks mom for that lesson.....

On the boy front, Mike talked to Tattoo Guy last night, so hopefully he'll be attending the party that Tara and I are hosting this weekend.  Fingers crossed on that one.  Mike tried to get him to come out with us last night, but after working both jobs he declined.  The other ones that I was talking about the other day are still around, but I'm trying not to have much to do with any of them.  Each one of them has something I like about them, but too many things I hate about them, so I'm kinda just doing my own thing right now.   Sure, I'd like to get exclusive with someone, but I'm not settling for bullshit at this point.

Do you guys see it?  This is how totally opposite of myself I can be.  It's that ridiculous..... 

I'll leave ya today with some random pics off my phone and if I don't post again, because tomorrow is my last day of work for the week, everyone have an awesome, safe Labor Day weekend!!  I'll have plenty to talk about next week because there's a TON going on this weekend.

I took this with my phone last month.  The kid's eyes were so freaking blue that day it was freaky!!

Little E got eaten alive by something at daycare the other day.   All over his face and arms are torn up.  I was pissed when they suggested it happened at home...  Umm, I think I would have notice bites all over my kid when I got him dressed this morning, thanks assholes...

Tara and I were having a little too much fun at lunch the other day.....

She insisted this pic would be funny because it's a "big screw"....  I had to actually point out that it's some sort of bolt type thing.......