Unfriended........

This is one of the earliest digital pictures I have of us, circa 2000.  Actually, I remember this night.  It was New Year's Eve 2000, where I was drinking, got high, puked, passed out and was back up in time to watch the ball drop at midnight.  This is also when I realized you don't mix drink and smoke.....

Anyway, that's not the point of this post.  Where I'm going with this is somewhere totally different.  If you've been reading me long, you'll know that I'm sitting in the middle of my two best friends in this picture, 12 freaking years ago.  Tara to the left and Nicole to the right.  This weekend, I lost my oldest friend.  Not to disease, accident or some other awful tragedy.  To a man. 

I've been friends with Tara somewhere like 15 years now.  She wanted to kick my ass because I stole her sister's boyfriend in like 1994.  In 1995 when I got a job at Wendy's, she worked there and we became the best of friends.  We have pretty much raised our kids together and she was there for the births of both Gavin and Evan.  I have seen her do some dumb shit, like getting back with her daughter's father and stood by, not saying a word.  I knew that her moving half way across the country to be with him was a mistake, but I let her go.  I knew that when she got with her 2nd husband that things would go badly and they did.  Things are still bad with him and that's why the relationship she's in now is failing.

It's not because of me, it's because she's still in love with him.  As shitty of a person as he is, he is her "one" and she can't let go.  I know the feeling, I've written about my "one".   Tara and Mike fight frequently.  He says that it's because I'm jealous of their relationship.  Maybe I am, but I would never do anything to sabotage her happiness, despite me being miserable not being allowed to hang out with her anymore.  He's got her on a tight leash because he doesn't trust her.  Truth be told, I don't blame him.  I wouldn't trust her either.  She's a serial cheater who doesn't know how to act in a good relationship.  The problem is that she's lying constantly about what she's doing and where she is, which makes me look shady when she's with me, in turn making me look like the one who's getting her to do the things she does.

The long and the short of it is that Friday night the whole neighborhood went to see April's brothers band play.  I was there, but not hanging out with Tara & Mike because Tara was being weird.  Whatever, there were tons of other people there and I was having a good time mingling with my people.  Apparently Mike and a few other people were spilling some bedroom secrets and one person turned around and asked Tara about it.  Tara was mortified and started to walk out of the bar.  I happened to be standing on the patio and she said "I've gotta leave, come with me."  Now, I'm not going to let my best friend leave the bar by herself, especially when she's been drinking that much, so I tell her to grab my stuff from the table while I pee and we'll go.

We left and went down the street to another bar so she could cool off.  Her intention was not to cool off though, it was to seek out the ex.  As soon as I realize this, I make a quick swoop of the parking lot to make sure he's not there.  Thank God, he's not.  Mike has said the next time she's at a bar and he's there, he's leaving her.  I don't need that out on me. We go in to have a drink.  Mike starts blowing up her phone talking all sorts of shit about me.  Please people, tell me what the fuck I had to do with all this?  Finally tired of hearing him scream at her I text him with a simple "Fuck you, quit making me the scapegoat for all of your problems."  He responds "Fuck you, I don't want my woman out whoring around all the time with you."    Oh shit.  Really?  The war has started.

We go back to the bar so she can get her kid (it was an all ages show out on the patio) and I'm distracted by a boy I know as soon as I come in the door.  I eventually make my way to the patio and everyone is arguing.  I'm not getting involved with it, so I go back inside.  April asks if I'll pit stop at the gas station for beer for her.  I agree and leave, not trying to get in the middle of anything else.  I pick up the beer and head home. 

After I get there, I text Tara and tell her I'm not coming to the party that I'm supposedly co-hosting with her the next night and that I'm done with the her and Mike drama.  She texts me back telling me that he and I just need to get along.  Nope, sorry, I'm done.  You have settled with the fact that he's your forever, go for it.  I'm done.  End of conversation.

I don't hear from her for the rest of the weekend.  I'm not gonna lie, it hurts.  Those of you who have been around here for awhile know that she's my other half.  My "life partner" as our friend Sandi calls us or the other half of the "toxic twins" my ex-husband calls us.

Yesterday I was Facebook creepin to see if she had wrote anything about me.  Turns out she unfriended me.  So did he.... Ouch, that hurts.  I can see it out of him maybe, but not her.  I ask Nicole if she's talking shit about me and nicole screen pix a shot about me putting her in my "creeper" file (which I have, but didn't put her in) so she would take care of the problem.  Ugh whatever.

It looks like this could be the end of an era here folks.  I don't know that as long as he's around that things are ever going to be the same.  She's certainly not going to let go of him.  He's her cash cow right now, paying bills she can't afford to.  This has happened before though, she lost pretty much all of her friends when she got with husband number 2 because he had such tight control of her.  I'm sad......

R.I.P The Toxic Twins......