It's Friday and I only have about 2 hours left in this place until I'm free for the weekend!! WOOT!
So, there's nothing better than having a bunch of money in your bank account at any given time. Seriously, my whole outlook today is good because I actually have some money left after everything is caught up. Well that and I can hit the liquor store for the BIG bottle of Bacardi Limon on the way home. Maybe a case of Red Bull as well. Then I'm a cheap date at the bar tonight....
Anywho, Tara and I just got back from a deep fried feast at lunch and I'm overly stuffed. That whole sick thing earlier in the week really did a number on my appetite and now I'm pretty much stuffing my face all day long to make up for it. I did lose 5 lbs from all of it, but I'm sure I've eaten enough stuff here in the last two days to make up for it. I mean at lunch I had deep fried mushrooms, mozzarella sticks, grilled chicken "thumbs" (hahaha that's what Rooster's calls their chicken fingers) and curly fries. Top that off with about a gallon of iced tea and ya kinda get how I'm feeling right now.
I booked the airfare for our Vegas trip this morning. I CAN'T WAIT to go. It's been almost two years and that is unheard of for me. I'm a once or twice a year visitor under normal circumstances. The last two years have been anything but normal. Right now I'm letting my host at NYNY fight tooth and nail for me to come back there instead of going for the Monte Carlo. We'll see who wins that battle. I'm not real thrilled with NYNY after the last stay I had there, but if the perks are right, I'll go back. I did get an offer from Aria, over at City Center, and I may just book one night there to see how nice it is in person. I'm not sure yet. All I know is that in 20 days I'll be out there and away from kids, family, work and all the other bullshit for 3 days. Life is indeed good my friends......
In other news, it seems I've lost my camera again. I KNOW I had it on Sunday at the house and haven't used it since, so it's around somewhere. Knowing the way my house works, Gavin probably heard me say something along the lines of "some hoochie's tattooed snatch is on my camera" and stole it to have a look. Let's just add real quick, that I have no problem with tattooed nether-regions, but this chick was indeed a hooch. That picture was indeed taken while my camera was supposed to be sitting on the table last Friday night. There was also a picture of someone's ass & balls. I have great friends....
All the same, I gotta find that thing before tonight. We're going out for April's birthday and being as she gets totally falling down drunk on a regular Friday night, I'm sure she'll be super drunk tonight. We all like pictures of drunks doing stupid shit, so I need to go home after work and find the camera.
It's still pretty up in the air as far as the rest of the weekend is concerned. I think I'm hosting a party Saturday night, but we'll see about all that. I hate having people in my house in the winter because they track all sorts of shit all over the carpet and don't take their fucking shoes off. I mean, I have a kid now crawling, so the floors have to be clean, ya know? Idiots....
Have a good weekend everyone!!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Far Behind....
Work is retarded right now. I've spent the better part of my week moving peoples offices, bookshelves, printers and all the other assorted crap people are too lazy to move on their own. The good news is I'm really not feeling the need to go to the gym at all this week because of all this manual labor. I thought I spend 50K on an education so that I wouldn't have to do this kind of shit. Oh well, it makes the days go by super fast!! I like that.
What I don't like is that I'm behind on my blog reading and posting, so I'll be back with y'all shortly. Possibly tomorrow. My mother is taking little Ev tonight for awhile and Kyle is home, but off to his grandmother's funeral, so I'll probably go home from work and do a little catching up with all of you.
On the SUPER GOOD NEWS front, my federal tax return is sitting in my bank account in the pending file, along with my paycheck and quarterly bonus, so I'm gonna be a SUPER RICH bitch tomorrow for a minute. If only it were actually available to spend tonight, I might go have a little fun :) Oh well, I've got a birthday party to attend tomorrow night so money will be spent and still need to catch everyone up on what I found on my camera from last weekend.
Have a good evening everyone!
What I don't like is that I'm behind on my blog reading and posting, so I'll be back with y'all shortly. Possibly tomorrow. My mother is taking little Ev tonight for awhile and Kyle is home, but off to his grandmother's funeral, so I'll probably go home from work and do a little catching up with all of you.
On the SUPER GOOD NEWS front, my federal tax return is sitting in my bank account in the pending file, along with my paycheck and quarterly bonus, so I'm gonna be a SUPER RICH bitch tomorrow for a minute. If only it were actually available to spend tonight, I might go have a little fun :) Oh well, I've got a birthday party to attend tomorrow night so money will be spent and still need to catch everyone up on what I found on my camera from last weekend.
Have a good evening everyone!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Not Smoking Makes Me An Angry Person
It really does. Once again, I haven't quit because I actually want to, I quit just till Friday because I don't have the $$ to buy any. I hate every single person I work with today and though I'm trying to stay in my cubicle and not talk to anyone, they keep coming over here and bothering me. Ugg.....
In other news, I'm getting over what little Ev had last week. Apparently it was some sort of stomach virus that he had, because Sunday night Brandon came in my room saying that he didn't feel well. Not half an hour later he pukes all over, again and again. Not an hour after that Gavin starts. At midnight, I start. Do you know how hard it is to have three people barfing in two bathrooms all night long? Needless to say, there was barf pretty much all over the house and little Ev didn't sleep because there was too much noise with everyone retching their guts out all night. Fun Shit. I wake up yesterday morning to see if Gavin is going to school and he says no, so I go back to bed. Waking up at 10, I remember I have a ton of shit that has to be done at work, so I get Ev dressed and to daycare, then head to work. I manage to get my shit done and head back home to bed around 2:30. I get up at 5 and go get the little one. Gavin seems to be feeling better, but Brandon is still sick. Not puking anymore, but pretty lethargic and just laying around sleeping. I clean up the mess the best I can still having a slightly upset stomach and say that I'll clean all the carpets this weekend. I'm back in bed by 8:30 last night.
Today I wake up feeling pretty much normal, but in an incredibly foul mood. Did you notice that I didn't ask Brandon if he was going to school Monday morning? Yeah, that was the post that I started last week, but then with everyone getting "workforce reduced" had to stop. Brandon is suspended from school for 10 days. Why? Because he had his pocket knife in his jacket pocket and when he put it in his locker, it fell out in front of a teacher. Being as all schools have a zero tolerance policy for weapons and drugs B got in a lot of trouble.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for keeping kids safe at school. I don't want some gun toting kid coming in and shooting up the school. I don't want a crack dealer coming in and selling my kids drugs. This situation is just ridiculous though. I got the call at about 10:00 on Thursday. The assistant principal was very upset while he was telling me what was going on. I had to go down to the school and meet with him, Brandon and the police. FUCK. I get down there to find my already emotionally unstable 13 year old in the assistant principal's office with the police officer. My kid is sobbing. Like the kind of sobs that happen when you're so upset you might just throw up. I try to comfort him and he starts beating his head on the desk. The officer just stared. The assistant principal goes over everything having to do with being suspended, you know, no ski club, no work allowed to go home, no nothing for 10 days and depending on how the expulsion board feels, he might not get let back to school.
The good news is that since it was under a 3" blade, and he's never had any discipline problems, he probably won't get expelled and he probably won't be prosecuted. Whewww.... The bad news is that an already fragile child is totally broken. I had to basically put him on suicide watch for 2 days, not leaving him home alone at all. I think now he realizes that it could have happened to anyone and that it's really not THAT big of a deal. I can't tell you how many guys told me that it's happened to them or their kid. That makes me feel better. It really was an innocent thing. The kid likes to whittle sticks and shit and had it in there from over the weekend. He didn't notice it there until it fell out. Unfortunately him not being able to do any work for 10 days means he'll pretty much fail this grading period. We're working on moving on. He doesn't want to go back to school because we all know how evil kids are. Luckily he's got a few good friends that have worked on squashing all of the rumors that are going around and anyone who's said anything on Facebook has had to deal with me setting the record straight.
What else? I just got an instant message from Kyle. His grandmother passed away this morning. That's a bummer. She was super sick and they've been expecting it for a couple of months now, but that doesn't make it any less hard. He'll be on his way home for a few days as soon as they get to a place they can dock and let him off tonight. As sad as it is, I'm a little happy because I get to spend a little time with him :) I thought him being gone would start to get easier at some point in time. It hasn't.
He told me to plan a mini-vacation for the two of us when he gets home. We're heading to Vegas, which is my favorite place in the entire world. I know, I know, with him being underage and all that takes some of the fun out of it. You're right, it does, but it was the cheapest vacation we could possibly do. Who's going to say no to a vacation that costs only one person's airfare? Monte Carlo is hooking me up with three nights free in a suite, $350 in resort credit and $200 in Freeplay. Sorry NYNY, Monte Carlo's offer was better. I'm all about being loyal to a place that hooks you up, but whatever. My last stay at NYNY was horrific to say the least.
Vacation is what's keeping me going right now. Kyle will get off the boat on the 17th of Feb and on the 18th we will be hopping on a plane. I can't think of a better way to spend a slightly delayed Valentine's Day. Plus, maybe I'll get to check out all the "other" things Vegas has to offer because I won't be spending 12 hours at a blackjack table every day. Degenerate gambler? Why yes I am. Columbus is getting a casino soon and I CAN'T WAIT. Actually, I might try and get a job there part-time. That would be fun!
Anyways, that's about all I've got today. I'm gonna go to lunch. I gotta get out of this place, even if it's only for an hour. These people are just plain stupid....
In the meantime, I'm thinking of blackjacks and jackpots.....
In other news, I'm getting over what little Ev had last week. Apparently it was some sort of stomach virus that he had, because Sunday night Brandon came in my room saying that he didn't feel well. Not half an hour later he pukes all over, again and again. Not an hour after that Gavin starts. At midnight, I start. Do you know how hard it is to have three people barfing in two bathrooms all night long? Needless to say, there was barf pretty much all over the house and little Ev didn't sleep because there was too much noise with everyone retching their guts out all night. Fun Shit. I wake up yesterday morning to see if Gavin is going to school and he says no, so I go back to bed. Waking up at 10, I remember I have a ton of shit that has to be done at work, so I get Ev dressed and to daycare, then head to work. I manage to get my shit done and head back home to bed around 2:30. I get up at 5 and go get the little one. Gavin seems to be feeling better, but Brandon is still sick. Not puking anymore, but pretty lethargic and just laying around sleeping. I clean up the mess the best I can still having a slightly upset stomach and say that I'll clean all the carpets this weekend. I'm back in bed by 8:30 last night.
Today I wake up feeling pretty much normal, but in an incredibly foul mood. Did you notice that I didn't ask Brandon if he was going to school Monday morning? Yeah, that was the post that I started last week, but then with everyone getting "workforce reduced" had to stop. Brandon is suspended from school for 10 days. Why? Because he had his pocket knife in his jacket pocket and when he put it in his locker, it fell out in front of a teacher. Being as all schools have a zero tolerance policy for weapons and drugs B got in a lot of trouble.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for keeping kids safe at school. I don't want some gun toting kid coming in and shooting up the school. I don't want a crack dealer coming in and selling my kids drugs. This situation is just ridiculous though. I got the call at about 10:00 on Thursday. The assistant principal was very upset while he was telling me what was going on. I had to go down to the school and meet with him, Brandon and the police. FUCK. I get down there to find my already emotionally unstable 13 year old in the assistant principal's office with the police officer. My kid is sobbing. Like the kind of sobs that happen when you're so upset you might just throw up. I try to comfort him and he starts beating his head on the desk. The officer just stared. The assistant principal goes over everything having to do with being suspended, you know, no ski club, no work allowed to go home, no nothing for 10 days and depending on how the expulsion board feels, he might not get let back to school.
The good news is that since it was under a 3" blade, and he's never had any discipline problems, he probably won't get expelled and he probably won't be prosecuted. Whewww.... The bad news is that an already fragile child is totally broken. I had to basically put him on suicide watch for 2 days, not leaving him home alone at all. I think now he realizes that it could have happened to anyone and that it's really not THAT big of a deal. I can't tell you how many guys told me that it's happened to them or their kid. That makes me feel better. It really was an innocent thing. The kid likes to whittle sticks and shit and had it in there from over the weekend. He didn't notice it there until it fell out. Unfortunately him not being able to do any work for 10 days means he'll pretty much fail this grading period. We're working on moving on. He doesn't want to go back to school because we all know how evil kids are. Luckily he's got a few good friends that have worked on squashing all of the rumors that are going around and anyone who's said anything on Facebook has had to deal with me setting the record straight.
What else? I just got an instant message from Kyle. His grandmother passed away this morning. That's a bummer. She was super sick and they've been expecting it for a couple of months now, but that doesn't make it any less hard. He'll be on his way home for a few days as soon as they get to a place they can dock and let him off tonight. As sad as it is, I'm a little happy because I get to spend a little time with him :) I thought him being gone would start to get easier at some point in time. It hasn't.
He told me to plan a mini-vacation for the two of us when he gets home. We're heading to Vegas, which is my favorite place in the entire world. I know, I know, with him being underage and all that takes some of the fun out of it. You're right, it does, but it was the cheapest vacation we could possibly do. Who's going to say no to a vacation that costs only one person's airfare? Monte Carlo is hooking me up with three nights free in a suite, $350 in resort credit and $200 in Freeplay. Sorry NYNY, Monte Carlo's offer was better. I'm all about being loyal to a place that hooks you up, but whatever. My last stay at NYNY was horrific to say the least.
Vacation is what's keeping me going right now. Kyle will get off the boat on the 17th of Feb and on the 18th we will be hopping on a plane. I can't think of a better way to spend a slightly delayed Valentine's Day. Plus, maybe I'll get to check out all the "other" things Vegas has to offer because I won't be spending 12 hours at a blackjack table every day. Degenerate gambler? Why yes I am. Columbus is getting a casino soon and I CAN'T WAIT. Actually, I might try and get a job there part-time. That would be fun!
Anyways, that's about all I've got today. I'm gonna go to lunch. I gotta get out of this place, even if it's only for an hour. These people are just plain stupid....
In the meantime, I'm thinking of blackjacks and jackpots.....
Friday, January 22, 2010
I Had A Nice Post For You
So I was in the middle of writing up how fucked up yesterday was and then bad things started to happen around here. Long story short, our workforce is now 6 people lighter and I had to pack up their desks. This is the 2nd time in a year and a half I've had to do this. Needless to say, I'm bummed, but not as bummed as I could be. Last time, some really good people were let go and it upset me horribly. This time it was the people who totally suck. I don't want to say I'm happy they're gone because anytime someone loses a job, particularly two of them who had been here for 9+ years, but at least it was done right this time.
I'll work on a post this weekend about the thing that happened yesterday and how incredibly sucky it was.
Have a great weekend!!
I'll work on a post this weekend about the thing that happened yesterday and how incredibly sucky it was.
Have a great weekend!!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I Used To Be Fun....
WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO ME??? All this fucking drama going on lately. I'm looking back at my posts when I first started blogging, which was only what, 6 months ago? I was much more fun then. But then again, it was summer and everyone is more fun when we're all hanging out in the hood drinking jello shots and dancing on the ghetto stripper pole. I mean, hello? what's not fun about this?
For those of you who haven't gone back far enough in my archives, this is the ghetto stripper pole. Given to me on my 31st birthday by my neighbor, Tim. Yes, it's mounted on a stump in the backyard. That's how we roll. Though it's a great attraction for the ladies, the guys are just as funny on it. Also a great time? The trampoline.
Gay blogger only centers pics when it wants to. This was also taken this summer in my back yard. I moved it to over where the pool went, because we had to take it down, because things like this kept happening....
Poor JoJo, she got launched in the pool like a rag doll. It was hilarious, because it wasn't me. I had the honor of being the first one to jump in the pool this summer. I host an end of the school year party which starts out as a shaving cream fight and cookout for the kids and quickly turns into an adult party later in the evening. Here are some pics from this year's party...
Even the adults participate in the shaving cream fight. Just not me, I'm allergic to the cheap shit that they buy. I serve as the official photographer.
You know you live in the hood when you can burn fires in your front yard with about 30 people sitting around and when the cops drive by, they wave as you cheer them on holding up your beers.
Can I just say, I love my face in this picture. Why do I look shocked Tara is touching my boob? No clue, because I'm never shocked when she does that because it happens frequently... My bug eyes kinda remind me of the Large Marge scene in Pee Wee's Big Adventure.....
Fun things happen in the hood. Right now I can't imagine living anywhere else. Good times indeed. This is what I need right now. I need summer, friends, fires, the pool, the trampoline, all of that. Winter sucks.....
Let's reminisce a little more, because I know y'all love pictures of people doing stupid shit. I give you, Melinda in a box. Not quite as fun as dick in a box, but entertaining none the less....
Yes, she's retarded and she did get stuck....
The drunk flip-off picture that we get at every party. Damn, that's me in the orange, Labor Day weekend 2008. My hair is so short and blond and I have such a nice tan....
My 30th birthday party, which was 80's themed. Everyone was wearing jelly shoes and they were responsible for one broken ankle that night....
My boy tree. If you shake it, one will fall out...
Tracing dead bodies onto the driveway. Look at how freaking dirty my feet are!! I'm not a big fan of shoes, so anytime I can be barefoot, I am.
Taking the boys to Cedar Point to ride shit like this!
Fun with a blowup doll....
One hot boy (this is Jordan by the way)
And of course, plenty of fire.....
Ahh, that makes me feel better.... I need sunny and 70 people!! Not 40 & gray. Ohio fucking sucks. I have no idea why anyone would CHOOSE to move here, but since I'm here and not relocating any time soon, I make the best of it. Now spring and summer need to hurry up and get here, because I think I have that S.A.D., you know Seasonal Affected Disorder or whatever it is being as we haven't seen the sun in weeks now....
Plus, really, it's you guys that are suffering here too. I really lack things to talk about when I'm holed up under my covers keeping warm all weekend.....
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
100 Degrees In A 6 Foot Square Glass Box
I'm BLAH today, so I'll share my Friday with everyone I guess. Maybe that will make me feel better. I was sad to crawl out of my bed this morning, leaving Kyle in it for the last time in the next 29 days. The good news? I didn't cry like a big fucking baby this time..... Stupid boy, getting me all emotional and shit......
Where shall we begin?
Waking up on Friday, I was sick to my stomach. I hadn't seen Jordan since October of 2008. In an hour and a half, I'd be not only seeing him, but getting a sample of his DNA. Fun shit. I managed to shower and get ready without losing any of the alcohol that still hadn't absorbed. Maybe I shouldn't have drank last night.... Too little too late I suppose... Oh well. I take the big kids to school and it's just Ev and me on our way downtown.
While sitting in gridlock traffic, I briefly thank God that I don't work downtown. What a cluster fuck. I couldn't sit in this shit everyday. I find the Child Support office with relative ease. It's not the same building it was in 13 years ago when I last had to come and do this kind of thing. Well, wait, 13 years ago I wasn't doing THIS, I had to come down for a hearing on support payments. Let's not get mixed up, I've never had a DNA issue before this whole mess.....
In the parking garage, I damn near had a panic attack. I get out of the car and smoke a cigarette. Once I feel a little better, I get Ev out of the car, along with all his crap and look for an elevator down. It's 8:05 and I'm late. There is no elevator. I carry a 23 pound kid and all his crap down 4 flights of stairs. By the time I hit the front door of the office, I'm sweating and out of breath. Damn, I need to go back to the gym! I get through the metal detectors and go to check in. I don't see him anywhere. Great....
I go to the front desk and tell the lady, no, I don't have an appointment, you take walk-ins and she asks where the "alleged" father is. As if hearing those magic words, he walks around the corner. His girlfriend has been sitting right behind me the whole time. She's cute, but not quite what I expected. I sit down and fill out paperwork while trying to wrangle Ev into sitting still. He's having none of that. My phone, my PRECIOUS iPhone is the only thing he wants to play with. Damn it. Jordan and the girlfriend are talking and looking at Ev and watching me struggle. Eventually I get through the paperwork and turn it in.
20 minutes later we're called back. WOW, that was quick. After many uncomfortable questions about my sexual activity and EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE they ask the question that I dreaded.
At this point, I can feel my blood pressure go through the roof. I become very aware how incredibly tiny the room we're in really is. 6' x 6' glass enclosed on two sides, regular walls on the other two. All the sudden I'm sweating. It's hot. Ms. W? Have you ever been married? Yes, yes I have. When? I don't know sir, it's been awhile that I've been divorced now. Ok Ms. W, we need to start at the beginning here. Mr. Jordan, you can go out into the waiting room if you'd like. Jordan leaves. Ok Ms. W. where and when did you get married? Vegas, 2006? 2004? I say that I don't remember because I know where all of this is going. When did you get divorced? Oh, I don't know, 2007? Another blatant lie. Ok, well Ms. W. I'm going to have to go to my other computer and get that paperwork since you didn't bring a copy with you. F-U-C-K.
It's at least 20 minutes before he comes back again and confronts me with my lie. Well, Ms. W. it says here your divorce wasn't final until December of 2008, so you lied about being pregnant in your divorce hearing because you had a baby 4 months later. By Ohio law, any child born within 300 days of a divorce being final is considered the husband's baby, whether it actually is or not. Did you know that Ms. W? No sir, I did not know that (yes I did), he is not my husband's baby though. We weren't even having sexual relations in the three month time span you told me you checked. Ms. W. that doesn't matter. We can't do anything for you or Mr. Jordan until your ex-husband comes down and takes a paternity test. But sir, I don't think you understand, my ex is not going to come down here and take a paternity test. Isn't there any way we can do this without him? Can I get him to sign something saying he acknowledges that it's not his kid? No Ms. W. he HAS TO COME DOWN HERE.
F-U-C-K.....
I begged and pleaded for some way around this. Jordan was asked to come back into the room and was told the problem. He was pissed. Mostly because he knew me and the husband weren't together when all this went down. Jordan was the straw that broke the camel's back in my marriage. Nothing was happening with him at that point, but he was there the night it all went down and understood what was going on. He looked at me and asked if I thought the ex would do it. I said I didn't know. I tried to embellish a bit, hoping for some mercy from the child support guy. I wasn't getting it. We grabbed up all our stuff and the guy told us to come back once I got everything figured out. If it was determined that the husband wouldn't come for a test, they would subpoena him. Jordan asked how long that would take and he said around 90 days, then another 4-8 weeks for the test to come out. Potentially Ev could be well over a year old before Jordan would know for sure. This made Jordan even angrier. He asked what the hell he was supposed to do, just sit around while his kid got older and he wasn't seeing him? The guy gave him a yeah, pretty much. Jordan left the office to go and see his lawyer.
I trudged back to the parking garage, finding an elevator along the way (where were you earlier??) trying to decide what I should do. I get Ev buckled in the car and stand outside smoking, trying to cool off a little bit. I really didn't have a choice. I feel bad for Jordan now. He's losing out on precious time with his son that he'll never get back. 3 cigarettes and a screaming baby later, I'm leaving the parking garage. It's 10:00am. I know what I should do, but I can't make myself make the phone call.
The ex and I are on speaking terms. Hell, I just hung out with him on New Years. He knows about Ev and recognizes that we are in two different places and that's why we didn't work out. Ok buddy, think what you might, but that's not exactly why we couldn't work it out. Whatever. We get along these days and do share the same circle of friends, so we come into contact fairly often.
Halfway back to my side of the city, I call him. The phone rings and rings. Finally he picks up, sounding confused. He's still sleeping. I ask him if he has to work today and he says no. I bust it out. I need for you to do a huge favor for me. If you never talk to me again after this, I will understand. I tell him and he says he'll get in the shower and be on his way in half an hour. Shewwwww, that wasn't so bad now was it? He's not drunk, so he's reasonable. I call Jordan and tell him to stay downtown, we're getting this worked out today. He is shocked, but sounds relieved.
I grab some Wendy's, because I'm starving to death, and turn around to go back downtown. Ev and I hang out in the car for quite awhile before going back inside. He's cutting 6 teeth right now and IS NOT pleasant to be around, so I let him sleep. What the hell is taking so long????? Damn me for not bringing someone with me to mess with him. Eventually the ex messages me that he's on his way. Great. I message Jordan and let him know we're a go. He texts me back and says to let him know once the ex gets there and he'll come in. He's not looking to start trouble. Ok, whatever.
It's noon by the time the ex actually shows up. I have no idea what took him so long and I don't really care. He's being fairly pleasant and making conversation to keep me distracted. I'm annoyed and this 23 pound baby is tired of being held. He wants down. Ugg no. Gross. My arms could quite possibly fall off at this point. I turn around and ex is whistling at some piece of ass that has her ass hanging out as she's bending over outside the door. I laugh, it's Jordan's girlfriend. Nice.... They walk in the door and the tension in the room goes through the roof. I start to sweat again. Damn this clinical strength deodorant for not working. After another hour, we get called back into the 6 x 6 cell. I'm sitting in between the two of them. I'm sweating uncontrollably. We fill out more paperwork. I'm pretty sure I'm going to pass out from a heat stroke or something. We get told to go back to the waiting room. We wait another hour before getting called back into another room like the cell.
Everyone has to get their picture taken. I'm really annoyed now. Each of us has our mouths dug at with 4 swabs. I guess they wanna make sure you don't have to do this again..... Finally it's over. Jordan tells me he'll talk to me later and bolts with a quickness. The ex walks with me to the parking garage, letting me know he called off work today because he was too hungover and depressed to go in. Great. I added to that. I let him know in a round about way that I'm not holding up all that great either to make him feel a little better. I don't know if it did or not, but whatever. He gets off at the 2nd floor and I tell him thanks once again and try to pay for his parking, but he won't let me. I'll see ya around I guess......
It's after 2pm now. Apparently I'm NOT going to make it into work, being as I had to leave at 4 anyway. I call and make arrangements not to come in. No big deal as usual. Ev and I head home. By the time I get there, he's ready for a nap and so am I. As soon as I fall into that nice la-la land, the big kids come home from school. No rest for the wicked I suppose. I try and lay down, but I'm not sleeping. Finally at 4, I get up. I have to get ready to go to the funeral at 5 anyway.
I go to the funeral, which sucked, and was home by 5:30. I didn't go to the dinner thingy afterward. Jordan texted me to thank me for getting everything out of the way. He said that he'd contact me when he got his copy of the results so that he and his girlfriend could discuss their next steps first. They live about a half an hour from me, which is going to create a nightmare for transporting the kid, should he actually follow through and want to see him on a regular basis. I texted him back thanking him for being so understanding about the whole thing. Then I decide a drink or 3 would be my best bet for dinner because my day really fucking sucked. Kyle gets home around 8:30 to find drunk emotional me. I'm passed out by 10 and I'm sure he's thanking me for that........
So, 4-6 weeks from now, we'll get the results. Ev will be close to turning one. I guess we're just in a holding pattern with all of this for now.......
I'll leave you with Ev, who was bored and exhausted with our Friday laying across my lap.....
Where shall we begin?
Waking up on Friday, I was sick to my stomach. I hadn't seen Jordan since October of 2008. In an hour and a half, I'd be not only seeing him, but getting a sample of his DNA. Fun shit. I managed to shower and get ready without losing any of the alcohol that still hadn't absorbed. Maybe I shouldn't have drank last night.... Too little too late I suppose... Oh well. I take the big kids to school and it's just Ev and me on our way downtown.
While sitting in gridlock traffic, I briefly thank God that I don't work downtown. What a cluster fuck. I couldn't sit in this shit everyday. I find the Child Support office with relative ease. It's not the same building it was in 13 years ago when I last had to come and do this kind of thing. Well, wait, 13 years ago I wasn't doing THIS, I had to come down for a hearing on support payments. Let's not get mixed up, I've never had a DNA issue before this whole mess.....
In the parking garage, I damn near had a panic attack. I get out of the car and smoke a cigarette. Once I feel a little better, I get Ev out of the car, along with all his crap and look for an elevator down. It's 8:05 and I'm late. There is no elevator. I carry a 23 pound kid and all his crap down 4 flights of stairs. By the time I hit the front door of the office, I'm sweating and out of breath. Damn, I need to go back to the gym! I get through the metal detectors and go to check in. I don't see him anywhere. Great....
I go to the front desk and tell the lady, no, I don't have an appointment, you take walk-ins and she asks where the "alleged" father is. As if hearing those magic words, he walks around the corner. His girlfriend has been sitting right behind me the whole time. She's cute, but not quite what I expected. I sit down and fill out paperwork while trying to wrangle Ev into sitting still. He's having none of that. My phone, my PRECIOUS iPhone is the only thing he wants to play with. Damn it. Jordan and the girlfriend are talking and looking at Ev and watching me struggle. Eventually I get through the paperwork and turn it in.
20 minutes later we're called back. WOW, that was quick. After many uncomfortable questions about my sexual activity and EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE they ask the question that I dreaded.
At this point, I can feel my blood pressure go through the roof. I become very aware how incredibly tiny the room we're in really is. 6' x 6' glass enclosed on two sides, regular walls on the other two. All the sudden I'm sweating. It's hot. Ms. W? Have you ever been married? Yes, yes I have. When? I don't know sir, it's been awhile that I've been divorced now. Ok Ms. W, we need to start at the beginning here. Mr. Jordan, you can go out into the waiting room if you'd like. Jordan leaves. Ok Ms. W. where and when did you get married? Vegas, 2006? 2004? I say that I don't remember because I know where all of this is going. When did you get divorced? Oh, I don't know, 2007? Another blatant lie. Ok, well Ms. W. I'm going to have to go to my other computer and get that paperwork since you didn't bring a copy with you. F-U-C-K.
It's at least 20 minutes before he comes back again and confronts me with my lie. Well, Ms. W. it says here your divorce wasn't final until December of 2008, so you lied about being pregnant in your divorce hearing because you had a baby 4 months later. By Ohio law, any child born within 300 days of a divorce being final is considered the husband's baby, whether it actually is or not. Did you know that Ms. W? No sir, I did not know that (yes I did), he is not my husband's baby though. We weren't even having sexual relations in the three month time span you told me you checked. Ms. W. that doesn't matter. We can't do anything for you or Mr. Jordan until your ex-husband comes down and takes a paternity test. But sir, I don't think you understand, my ex is not going to come down here and take a paternity test. Isn't there any way we can do this without him? Can I get him to sign something saying he acknowledges that it's not his kid? No Ms. W. he HAS TO COME DOWN HERE.
F-U-C-K.....
I begged and pleaded for some way around this. Jordan was asked to come back into the room and was told the problem. He was pissed. Mostly because he knew me and the husband weren't together when all this went down. Jordan was the straw that broke the camel's back in my marriage. Nothing was happening with him at that point, but he was there the night it all went down and understood what was going on. He looked at me and asked if I thought the ex would do it. I said I didn't know. I tried to embellish a bit, hoping for some mercy from the child support guy. I wasn't getting it. We grabbed up all our stuff and the guy told us to come back once I got everything figured out. If it was determined that the husband wouldn't come for a test, they would subpoena him. Jordan asked how long that would take and he said around 90 days, then another 4-8 weeks for the test to come out. Potentially Ev could be well over a year old before Jordan would know for sure. This made Jordan even angrier. He asked what the hell he was supposed to do, just sit around while his kid got older and he wasn't seeing him? The guy gave him a yeah, pretty much. Jordan left the office to go and see his lawyer.
I trudged back to the parking garage, finding an elevator along the way (where were you earlier??) trying to decide what I should do. I get Ev buckled in the car and stand outside smoking, trying to cool off a little bit. I really didn't have a choice. I feel bad for Jordan now. He's losing out on precious time with his son that he'll never get back. 3 cigarettes and a screaming baby later, I'm leaving the parking garage. It's 10:00am. I know what I should do, but I can't make myself make the phone call.
The ex and I are on speaking terms. Hell, I just hung out with him on New Years. He knows about Ev and recognizes that we are in two different places and that's why we didn't work out. Ok buddy, think what you might, but that's not exactly why we couldn't work it out. Whatever. We get along these days and do share the same circle of friends, so we come into contact fairly often.
Halfway back to my side of the city, I call him. The phone rings and rings. Finally he picks up, sounding confused. He's still sleeping. I ask him if he has to work today and he says no. I bust it out. I need for you to do a huge favor for me. If you never talk to me again after this, I will understand. I tell him and he says he'll get in the shower and be on his way in half an hour. Shewwwww, that wasn't so bad now was it? He's not drunk, so he's reasonable. I call Jordan and tell him to stay downtown, we're getting this worked out today. He is shocked, but sounds relieved.
I grab some Wendy's, because I'm starving to death, and turn around to go back downtown. Ev and I hang out in the car for quite awhile before going back inside. He's cutting 6 teeth right now and IS NOT pleasant to be around, so I let him sleep. What the hell is taking so long????? Damn me for not bringing someone with me to mess with him. Eventually the ex messages me that he's on his way. Great. I message Jordan and let him know we're a go. He texts me back and says to let him know once the ex gets there and he'll come in. He's not looking to start trouble. Ok, whatever.
It's noon by the time the ex actually shows up. I have no idea what took him so long and I don't really care. He's being fairly pleasant and making conversation to keep me distracted. I'm annoyed and this 23 pound baby is tired of being held. He wants down. Ugg no. Gross. My arms could quite possibly fall off at this point. I turn around and ex is whistling at some piece of ass that has her ass hanging out as she's bending over outside the door. I laugh, it's Jordan's girlfriend. Nice.... They walk in the door and the tension in the room goes through the roof. I start to sweat again. Damn this clinical strength deodorant for not working. After another hour, we get called back into the 6 x 6 cell. I'm sitting in between the two of them. I'm sweating uncontrollably. We fill out more paperwork. I'm pretty sure I'm going to pass out from a heat stroke or something. We get told to go back to the waiting room. We wait another hour before getting called back into another room like the cell.
Everyone has to get their picture taken. I'm really annoyed now. Each of us has our mouths dug at with 4 swabs. I guess they wanna make sure you don't have to do this again..... Finally it's over. Jordan tells me he'll talk to me later and bolts with a quickness. The ex walks with me to the parking garage, letting me know he called off work today because he was too hungover and depressed to go in. Great. I added to that. I let him know in a round about way that I'm not holding up all that great either to make him feel a little better. I don't know if it did or not, but whatever. He gets off at the 2nd floor and I tell him thanks once again and try to pay for his parking, but he won't let me. I'll see ya around I guess......
It's after 2pm now. Apparently I'm NOT going to make it into work, being as I had to leave at 4 anyway. I call and make arrangements not to come in. No big deal as usual. Ev and I head home. By the time I get there, he's ready for a nap and so am I. As soon as I fall into that nice la-la land, the big kids come home from school. No rest for the wicked I suppose. I try and lay down, but I'm not sleeping. Finally at 4, I get up. I have to get ready to go to the funeral at 5 anyway.
I go to the funeral, which sucked, and was home by 5:30. I didn't go to the dinner thingy afterward. Jordan texted me to thank me for getting everything out of the way. He said that he'd contact me when he got his copy of the results so that he and his girlfriend could discuss their next steps first. They live about a half an hour from me, which is going to create a nightmare for transporting the kid, should he actually follow through and want to see him on a regular basis. I texted him back thanking him for being so understanding about the whole thing. Then I decide a drink or 3 would be my best bet for dinner because my day really fucking sucked. Kyle gets home around 8:30 to find drunk emotional me. I'm passed out by 10 and I'm sure he's thanking me for that........
So, 4-6 weeks from now, we'll get the results. Ev will be close to turning one. I guess we're just in a holding pattern with all of this for now.......
I'll leave you with Ev, who was bored and exhausted with our Friday laying across my lap.....
Monday, January 18, 2010
Lots To Say
No time to say it. People have had their foot in my ass all day long. Kyle leaves tomorrow, so I'm trying to get all of my shit done here so I can get home and spend quality time.....
Just so you can wait in desperate anticipation, my weekend included spending 6 hours at the child support office for dna testing on Friday, which was interesting to say the VERY least; going to the movies to see The Lovely Bones and a bunch of laying around doing nothing. I know, you can hardly contain the excitement. I shall return a hot mess of emotion tomorrow.....
In the meantime, Kyle sent me flowers today. Stargazer lilies..... My absolute favorite. All the bitches in the office are jealous....
Just so you can wait in desperate anticipation, my weekend included spending 6 hours at the child support office for dna testing on Friday, which was interesting to say the VERY least; going to the movies to see The Lovely Bones and a bunch of laying around doing nothing. I know, you can hardly contain the excitement. I shall return a hot mess of emotion tomorrow.....
In the meantime, Kyle sent me flowers today. Stargazer lilies..... My absolute favorite. All the bitches in the office are jealous....
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Shocking To Say The Least.....
So, while I was in the middle of posting the pictures I got a phone call from a phone number I didn't recognize. Since I'm being hunted by several different bill collectors, I don't answer calls from numbers I don't know. It was a lawyer. The picture mail on Monday apparently served it's purpose.
I got a call from a friendly legal aid by the name of Kelly. She told me that Jordan (which is actually his name) had come into their office today and showed them the picture mail and asked legally what he should do. They told him that they would call me and get more information and basically feel out the situation.
I gave Kelly a brief background on Jordan, me, the whole pregnancy timing mistake, all that. She said that he was pretty much freaking out about the whole thing. He wanted to know all this information about the kid and what he should do. I told her all I wanted to do was let him know he had a kid and if he was interested, he was more than welcome to be a part of his life. We chatted some more and she asked if it was ok that he called me. Well, sure it is, that's what I wanted in the first place. She said she'd get in touch with him to get a paternity test done and we'd move this along. Ok, bye-bye...
Not 15 minutes later, my phone rang again. It was him. Talk about awkward conversation. Once we got past a few of the key questions, such as, why are you just now telling me this, we were ok. He apologized for having a lawyer call me and admitted that the lawyer is his dad's best friend and he really just wanted some advice on the situation. I told him there was no problem with all that. I told him it was ok if he didn't want anything to do with Ev. He told me I should know that he came from a better upbringing than that and that if he had a kid he sure as hell wanted to spend time with him. That made me happy. He said that he hoped that pending a paternity test we could work everything out for the best interests of Ev. I couldn't agree more...
Friday morning, we head down to the child support agency for the paternity test, which takes 8 weeks to get results.... I'm shocked at the whole situation right now, I expected a totally different scenario to play out. It's surprising to learn that what you think is going to happen with something isn't how it's going to go AT ALL....
I got a call from a friendly legal aid by the name of Kelly. She told me that Jordan (which is actually his name) had come into their office today and showed them the picture mail and asked legally what he should do. They told him that they would call me and get more information and basically feel out the situation.
I gave Kelly a brief background on Jordan, me, the whole pregnancy timing mistake, all that. She said that he was pretty much freaking out about the whole thing. He wanted to know all this information about the kid and what he should do. I told her all I wanted to do was let him know he had a kid and if he was interested, he was more than welcome to be a part of his life. We chatted some more and she asked if it was ok that he called me. Well, sure it is, that's what I wanted in the first place. She said she'd get in touch with him to get a paternity test done and we'd move this along. Ok, bye-bye...
Not 15 minutes later, my phone rang again. It was him. Talk about awkward conversation. Once we got past a few of the key questions, such as, why are you just now telling me this, we were ok. He apologized for having a lawyer call me and admitted that the lawyer is his dad's best friend and he really just wanted some advice on the situation. I told him there was no problem with all that. I told him it was ok if he didn't want anything to do with Ev. He told me I should know that he came from a better upbringing than that and that if he had a kid he sure as hell wanted to spend time with him. That made me happy. He said that he hoped that pending a paternity test we could work everything out for the best interests of Ev. I couldn't agree more...
Friday morning, we head down to the child support agency for the paternity test, which takes 8 weeks to get results.... I'm shocked at the whole situation right now, I expected a totally different scenario to play out. It's surprising to learn that what you think is going to happen with something isn't how it's going to go AT ALL....
Holiday Pics
Ok so I came back from lunch and now my Blogger following list has managed to erase itself. WTF? Hopefully it'll come back because we all know that I need my daily reading rotation. Oh yeah, speaking of, those of you who have blogs and don't use the fun little Blogger follow button. Why? I like the convenience of clicking follow so I don't miss what's going on with y'all. Anywho, on to the pics. I don't think there's anything super interesting in them, but whatever. This is for you Miss Curious...
This is Gavin, once he finally got upright on his board at my Nana's house. Needless to stay he didn't stay up very long and for as naturally athletic as he is, he struggled....
This one is Brandon and my uncle Larry making fun of the fact Gavin is sleeping in his new vest. He had run out of shirts and decided the vest was comfortable.
Who cares who your daddy is when you're as cute as this guy, right?
Had to keep the binky in the mouth so the kid wouldn't eat wrapping paper all morning. I'm sure that would have filled his belly and maybe he would have slept better though....
Christmas night at my house. Shit all over the house. Between Rock Band and DJ Hero this type of chaos hasn't stopped and my living room is still messy like this....
Brandon getting ready to show his skills at Mad River the day after Christmas
Me sitting in the snow. This is pretty much how I spent most of my day..... My tailbone has finally stopped hurting. Notice how absolutely cool my snowboard is. My boots are super cute too, but you can't see them because of my super new kid sized snow pants. I bought the kid size because I refused to pay $60 for ski pants.
Lizzy in my super cool new coat the boys bought me and with my snowboard. She did way better than me for her first time! Brandon trying to look cool as usual.
Later on that night. What the hell am I looking at? Oh yeah, that's a Vic 750 and two drinks into the night. The ceiling was probably laughing at me or something...
Tara on New Years Eve. She's looking classy as usual.
I don't know what's up with the face I'm making here, but we look cute, don't we?
I have no idea what's going on here, but I think Tara is molesting me.
Pineapple upside down cake shots, YUMMY!! Happy New Year!!
See, I told ya, not all that interesting, but it'll burn some time at work today....
Wednesday Randomness - January 13th
I have a whole lot running around in the head today people. None of it is substantial enough to warrant its own post though.... Well, maybe one thing is, but I need to gather some pictures for that story and I don't have time for that right now.
- First and foremost, I would like to thank all of you for the incredible support you've given me these last couple of weeks. It really does mean alot to me. This whole thing with Brandon and the high school scheduling especially. I was happy to see some people comment who haven't before and wanted to say WELCOME :) It's nice to be able to identify with people who are going through or have gone through the same things you are. Sometimes it feels like you're the only one in the world experiencing something. It's good to know I'm not..... And I think I've got the scheduling thing worked out, so we're good on all that.
- Second, I wanna know who the hell schedules a funeral for 5pm on a Friday night?????? This is my happy drinking time, not time for mourning. This one is going to be a doozy too. When we first moved here 16 or so years ago, my mom knew nobody but my step-dad. My mother's first boss here at the company we still work at showed her around town and they became best friends. Her husband died on Monday after battling a disturbing neurological disorder for the last couple of years. He was only 53. I say disturbing because the whole thing was just strange. A couple of years ago he went from being a big teddy bear to a man who was just downright mean and angry all the time. From there, his speech started slurring and he started falling down. This got worse and worse until she finally had to have him put into a home because he couldn't be alone. There were several misdiagnosis until they finally figured out what it was and that there was no cure. I wish I knew the name of the disease, but it was not anything I'd ever heard of before. After dealing with my dad and the brain tumor and all that, I just want to take a minute for this public service announcement: If your day to day activity is hampered by something that's not normal for your body, do yourself a favor and go get it checked out. Especially you MEN. It took my father blacking out and throwing up all over the place at his work and someone finding him unconscious for him to go to the doctor and find out that he had a brain tumor. Not cool. My neighbor, Tim, was complaining of crippling headaches, I told him to see a doctor immediately, he had a brain tumor. Sure as shit, he had 3 of them.
- Tara and I are currently in a battle about what "middle age" is. I say 35, she says mid 40's. I don't know about all of you, but I don't really wanna live past, say.... 60 or so. So yes, I'm perfectly happy saying I'm middle age. This is all in reference to the guy that met us out the other night. He's 35 and i made a comment about all middle age men being in a bowling league..... We're polling our Facebook friends as I write this. Yeah, it's stupid, but it's making me laugh today.
- In regards to the funeral and viewing that I'm attending tomorrow and Friday, I gave the big kids an option. I've never made them go to anything like this. We have been fortunate enough not to lose any family members since they were babies. I told them they could chose whether they thought they were emotionally ready to go to the viewing tomorrow night. Being as this is a close family friend that they've known their entire life I thought maybe they would want to go. They had a day or so to think it over and last night Gavin said that he wanted to go, but Brandon isn't going. This is exactly what I figured would happen. Brandon is my emotional kid. I think it would totally wreck him. He doesn't deal with every day life real well, so I knew a funeral wouldn't be the best place for him. I'm glad I let them make their own decision on this though. They're old enough to have some say....
- Can I just say how sad I am that Kyle is leaving again on Tuesday? Last night we went to a movie then came home and snuggled up watching tv. I laid there with my head in my favorite spot, right on his shoulder and thought, damn, next week at this time he'll be gone. That sucks. I'm attached to this damn boy. He's been around for almost 8 months now, so it's a little weird. I can probably count on one hand the amount of relationships that I've had that have lasted more than a year. Love 'em & leave 'em.......
- This thing, which is probably worth a post of its own, is driving me insane. Awhile back I commented about the two loves of my life, Brandon's dad and this other guy that when I moved out here, I lost. Well, thank you Facebook, he's found again. This was the first person I ever loved and yeah, I may have been 14 and all stupid and puppy love shit, but he was one person that I was truly compatible with. When I have some time and can dig out the pictures of how totally cute of a couple we made, I'll write something up.
- Curious, once I get back from lunch I'll post pics of the holidays and beat your St. Paddy's day prediction. I finally got them onto my portable hard drive last night.
- This may be a record for me, but I've only had one drink this week... Yeah, I know, it's only Wednesday, but I didn't drink on Sunday, so that's like 4 days now. Reason? I'm broke till Friday. T is driving me to work all week cause my mom is a bitch and made me pay her some money I owed her, which put me in the negative for the week. Oh well. Like 48 hours from now, I'll have my paycheck and W-2 and I can get my damn taxes filed so that I'll get my refund the 29th. That right there is good shit.
- Speaking of W-2's..... I LOVE tax time. It's the only time of year when, for just one quick minute, I have money and thank God that I have children. Plus, their dads can't claim them, so I get that extra $$ every year. This year between all my excessive medical bills for the pregnancy, mortgage interest, student loan interest, daycare and tons of other random bullshit, I should be getting around 5K back. That will get all my stuff back in line and I can finally start to live like a normal person again. This paycheck to paycheck shit sucks.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Being In Control of Someone's Future
This is a rant about what's going on with my oldest son, Brandon. If you don't like reading kid shit, you may want to skip....
Look at this ugly little misshapen cone headed freak. This was Brandon when he was born. I cried because I thought since I had smoked so much pot and done various other things in my first 18 years of life that I was going to be punished by having a disfigured kid. Now that he's finally grown into his huge misshapen head, he's alright... Well, besides sporting fake bleached hair for the summer and making dorky faces......
Who would have actually though the kid would live this long? I mean, I couldn't even take care of myself at 18, let alone a child, which by the way, I hate kids.... Mine are cool for the most part though.
Last night I had to attend high school registration. I came away an hour and a half later feeling like my kids are retards. In my hands right now is the paperwork to decide what could be the rest of my kid's life. His scheduling papers. He's in the 8th grade and is already technically behind. Why? Because he's an average student. Not taking Algebra and Geometry and Biology in the 8th grade has set him behind apparently. WTF? When I was in school, and it wasn't THAT long ago kids didn't take classes like that in 7th and 8th grade. Those were high school classes. Hell, I didn't even know that they offered them.... Probably because my kids are just average.
So, now I have to decide where to fit all of the credits that he will need to graduate into his scheduling for the next 4 years, and that's just for a basic diploma, not one that will actually get you into a decent college. To do that, he'd have to take summer school every summer until he graduates.... WTF? Ohio doesn't even have very stringent graduation requirements.
The kid really wants to go into the engineering program though. They offer it at the high school level and it's a 4 year program, where in conjunction with his other studies, he'll learn all sorts of really cool stuff that will for sure come in handy if he decides more along a trade school type of secondary education. He's actually probably above average in math and science, so maybe this is the way to go for him. Maybe it's not. I don't know.
I mean, I understand that this is my child and I am responsible for how he grows up and all that shit. I'm just kind of afraid that I'll make the wrong decision and fuck up his whole high school career....... I thought when they were in diapers, tearing up the house, that things would be so much easier when they were teenagers. I can deal with teenage emotion and anguish and all that shit. That's normal stuff. What I'm having a hard time with is that in making or not making one decision about a set of classes, I could fuck up the kid's whole future.....
Can we just go back to him being the lopsided cone head baby again?????
Monday, January 11, 2010
So Much To Say.....
And no time to write it.
Right now I feel like I'm being pulled at all ends. Stretched to the limit, not necessarily in bad ways, but just stretched none the less. Kyle leaves in a week again and I'm trying to spend as much time with him as possible. I don't think that I'll be seeing him for a whole lot longer. He's buying a house and moving in a totally different direction than what's going to work for "us". Like I said in the beginning, I never meant for this to be a long term thing, but when you spend so much time with someone, you can't help the feelings you develop for them. I don't know, maybe I'm just being stupid. Who knows. I'm not trying to jump to any conclusions about our relationship, but that's just how I kind of feel right now.
As for the baby daddy issue. I can't get ahold of the other guy. I got the paper confirmation saying Noah isn't the dad and I'm ok with all that. Time to move on. Based on your comments and talking with the people who actually care about me, unlike my family, it's my responsibility to let him know. He may want nothing to do with Ev, but I sure as hell would be pissed if I had a kid and didn't know about it. He won't call or text me back, so I pulled the shocker this morning and send him a picture mail of Ev that simply said "This is Evan, he's your son. This is why I needed to talk to you." I'm betting I won't get a response and yeah, it was probably a shitty way to drop a bomb like that, but that was pretty much the only way I could get my point across without him thinking I was trying to get with him or something like that.
What else? Oh, I'm attending high school orientation for Brandon tonight. It's hard to believe that my boy is gonna be in high school this fall. Where did the time go? This kid's gonna have a real hard time in high school. He's so immature as compared to his classmates. I shouldn't have let him start school so early. I should have been one of those parents that keeps their late summer birthday kid out of school the extra year.... I say that, but then I look at Gavin, who is another month younger than Brandon (in his grade level) and he's adjusted so well. He was my 4th grader with a 10th grade vocabulary. He's a 20something year old stuck in a 12 year old body. Poor Brandon. I guess he'll get through it like all the rest of us did.
I didn't do a whole lot this weekend. I wanted to go out Friday night, but everyone bitched out. Well, I shouldn't say they bitched out. They all came to my house and we drank and played Uno. It was pretty amusing, but everyone was gone and we were in bed by 11. Pretty boring shit. Saturday night we went up to a bar that's close to the house and I'd never been to. One of our favorite bands was playing and it was a good time, besides some drama with Tara. I'll write about that in a separate post, because there's some emotional stuff going on there that I just need to get out. We ended up having a good time and all, but her and I have tension.
JoJo and her man were there too. That's pretty much the only reason that I went up. I don't ever get to see her anymore. Like I said, fun, but just weird.
Good news on the skin front. All those steroids seem to be doing some good. I'm not digging my skin off anymore and the spots are clearing up. The pills are AWFUL though. My God, they start dissolving as soon as you stick them in your mouth and taste like shit. Oh well. I'm still happy that I lost 5 lbs in the two weeks from the start of Christmas week to the end of New Years week. That's good shit in my book, especially since I feel like all Kyle and I do is eat. Must be burning some calories another way since my ass hasn't been to the gym in forever :)
That's all I got right now. Hopefully I'll get the other thing I wanna post up today or tonight, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna get to it. I also owe you some pics from Christmas and New Years, I promise I'll get those up, but I accidentally saved them on my other computer and not my portable hard drive. Soon people, soon......
Happy Monday peeps :)
Right now I feel like I'm being pulled at all ends. Stretched to the limit, not necessarily in bad ways, but just stretched none the less. Kyle leaves in a week again and I'm trying to spend as much time with him as possible. I don't think that I'll be seeing him for a whole lot longer. He's buying a house and moving in a totally different direction than what's going to work for "us". Like I said in the beginning, I never meant for this to be a long term thing, but when you spend so much time with someone, you can't help the feelings you develop for them. I don't know, maybe I'm just being stupid. Who knows. I'm not trying to jump to any conclusions about our relationship, but that's just how I kind of feel right now.
As for the baby daddy issue. I can't get ahold of the other guy. I got the paper confirmation saying Noah isn't the dad and I'm ok with all that. Time to move on. Based on your comments and talking with the people who actually care about me, unlike my family, it's my responsibility to let him know. He may want nothing to do with Ev, but I sure as hell would be pissed if I had a kid and didn't know about it. He won't call or text me back, so I pulled the shocker this morning and send him a picture mail of Ev that simply said "This is Evan, he's your son. This is why I needed to talk to you." I'm betting I won't get a response and yeah, it was probably a shitty way to drop a bomb like that, but that was pretty much the only way I could get my point across without him thinking I was trying to get with him or something like that.
What else? Oh, I'm attending high school orientation for Brandon tonight. It's hard to believe that my boy is gonna be in high school this fall. Where did the time go? This kid's gonna have a real hard time in high school. He's so immature as compared to his classmates. I shouldn't have let him start school so early. I should have been one of those parents that keeps their late summer birthday kid out of school the extra year.... I say that, but then I look at Gavin, who is another month younger than Brandon (in his grade level) and he's adjusted so well. He was my 4th grader with a 10th grade vocabulary. He's a 20something year old stuck in a 12 year old body. Poor Brandon. I guess he'll get through it like all the rest of us did.
I didn't do a whole lot this weekend. I wanted to go out Friday night, but everyone bitched out. Well, I shouldn't say they bitched out. They all came to my house and we drank and played Uno. It was pretty amusing, but everyone was gone and we were in bed by 11. Pretty boring shit. Saturday night we went up to a bar that's close to the house and I'd never been to. One of our favorite bands was playing and it was a good time, besides some drama with Tara. I'll write about that in a separate post, because there's some emotional stuff going on there that I just need to get out. We ended up having a good time and all, but her and I have tension.
Good news on the skin front. All those steroids seem to be doing some good. I'm not digging my skin off anymore and the spots are clearing up. The pills are AWFUL though. My God, they start dissolving as soon as you stick them in your mouth and taste like shit. Oh well. I'm still happy that I lost 5 lbs in the two weeks from the start of Christmas week to the end of New Years week. That's good shit in my book, especially since I feel like all Kyle and I do is eat. Must be burning some calories another way since my ass hasn't been to the gym in forever :)
That's all I got right now. Hopefully I'll get the other thing I wanna post up today or tonight, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna get to it. I also owe you some pics from Christmas and New Years, I promise I'll get those up, but I accidentally saved them on my other computer and not my portable hard drive. Soon people, soon......
Happy Monday peeps :)
Friday, January 8, 2010
Thank You Doctor Obvious.....
So Kyle paid for me to go to the doctor this morning. I'm sure he was annoyed with my constant digging at my skin in my sleep..... Well that and the fact he doesn't wanna be out with someone who totally looks like a junkie, as Brandon so politely put it. I have Eczema. Duh, I knew that doctor obvious... Apparently as sick as I was a couple of weeks ago, with the sinus infection and walking pneumonia, one of the symptoms was probably a rash. I didn't notice because my skin always looks like shit in the winter. Also, being at all my friend's houses, my sister bringing her dog to my mom's house and all of those other interactions with animals (in which I'm allergic TO THEM ALL, even the thousand dollar anti-allergenic dog my sister has) really caused my Eczema to flair up. Combine that with the fact I'm an itcher. I'm constantly scratching. I do it in my sleep, I do it all day long. I can't help it. I gave myself a nice infection doing it. For the record, I'm a scab picker too. You really wanted to know that.
Treatment? Curious, you were right. Steroids. 3 pills every morning for the next 7 days. I also have to take Tagament. Not because I have heartburn, which is what it's for, but because it contains an antihistamine that's different from Benedryl and Zyrtec. No more Zyrtec, on to Claritin, which is ok with me because Zyrtec puts me into a coma-like sleepy state for several hours after I take it. He didn't prescribe me antibiotics for the infection because I'm going to be taking so much other stuff. Hey doctor, thanks for that. I'll have a hard enough time paying for all this other stuff. Hopefully after the 7 days, it'll be mostly cleared up and if i can just maintain and not have it get this bad again, I should be good to go. How much of winter is left? Damn, too much..... At least I know in the spring it'll all go away.
On to other things. Tara, April and I went to happy hour last night. Fuck the snow, Tara wanted to drink. She's dieting again, so she's not drinking every night, only on special occasions, like a snow blizzard or weekend. She picked both of us up and we headed to the local watering hole. There were 5 people in the whole place. Nice. Oh and it was 4pm. Everything was cool until April asked what I was going to do about my whole "situation". I cracked. What I've written about the whole thing has been emotionally charged, but in reality, I've shown little to no emotion over the whole thing to anyone here. It's just not me to let people see all that. By 7pm, I was the blubbering drunk girl. Good thing nobody was there. We went to April's moms house and I sat with her mom while she hugged me and told me that everything will be ok. I know that it will be. I just needed to get it all out. Tara finally dropped me off at the house at 8 and after checking in on Ev, I crawled into bed. Kyle, having no idea what went on, immediately asked what was wrong. I didn't want to talk about it. He was ok with that. I turned on some music to drown out my sniffles, curled up with him and fell asleep.
I didn't wake up again until it was time for him to go at 12:45. He was getting paid to go out and help plow businesses in the middle of the night. Before he left he made Ev a bottle and I didn't hear a peep out of the kid for the rest of the night. I slept hard. I slept like I haven't slept in over a year now. When my alarm went off this morning it scared me. I was in such a nice peaceful slumber. I get the kids up and go back to bed until they're done with their showers. Once they're done I drag my butt into the shower. I just stand there in the hottest water possible (yeah, I know that's really bad for my skin...). I may have fallen back asleep standing there, but I was rudely interrupted by someone pounding on the bathroom door and talking. I can't hear what the hell the kid is saying. I tell him to open the door. As he's hit by a massive cloud of steam Gavin tells me school is canceled and thanks me for not checking before waking them up. I say good, get Ev up, dress him and then you can go back to bed.
Once I finish my shower and get dressed i hear all sorts of commotion in the living room. They're fighting over who's going to change Ev's diaper. WTF? I change it and run around the house doing all of the things I should have done last night had I not been at the bar. Brandon goes back to bed. Gavin tells me that since he showered and is having a good hair day he's not going back to bed. What's wrong with that kid? Kyle wanders in from his night of snow plowing just in time to start my car for me. Not that it'll get warm or anything, but he does it anyway. Thanks bunches babe. I talk with him for a minute and it's time to head to the doctor. I scoop up Ev and we're out the door. I think about how much it sucks that me and the little guy have to go when yet again everyone else in the house gets to stay warm and sleep...... Or play Xbox and not ruin their hair.......
Treatment? Curious, you were right. Steroids. 3 pills every morning for the next 7 days. I also have to take Tagament. Not because I have heartburn, which is what it's for, but because it contains an antihistamine that's different from Benedryl and Zyrtec. No more Zyrtec, on to Claritin, which is ok with me because Zyrtec puts me into a coma-like sleepy state for several hours after I take it. He didn't prescribe me antibiotics for the infection because I'm going to be taking so much other stuff. Hey doctor, thanks for that. I'll have a hard enough time paying for all this other stuff. Hopefully after the 7 days, it'll be mostly cleared up and if i can just maintain and not have it get this bad again, I should be good to go. How much of winter is left? Damn, too much..... At least I know in the spring it'll all go away.
On to other things. Tara, April and I went to happy hour last night. Fuck the snow, Tara wanted to drink. She's dieting again, so she's not drinking every night, only on special occasions, like a snow blizzard or weekend. She picked both of us up and we headed to the local watering hole. There were 5 people in the whole place. Nice. Oh and it was 4pm. Everything was cool until April asked what I was going to do about my whole "situation". I cracked. What I've written about the whole thing has been emotionally charged, but in reality, I've shown little to no emotion over the whole thing to anyone here. It's just not me to let people see all that. By 7pm, I was the blubbering drunk girl. Good thing nobody was there. We went to April's moms house and I sat with her mom while she hugged me and told me that everything will be ok. I know that it will be. I just needed to get it all out. Tara finally dropped me off at the house at 8 and after checking in on Ev, I crawled into bed. Kyle, having no idea what went on, immediately asked what was wrong. I didn't want to talk about it. He was ok with that. I turned on some music to drown out my sniffles, curled up with him and fell asleep.
I didn't wake up again until it was time for him to go at 12:45. He was getting paid to go out and help plow businesses in the middle of the night. Before he left he made Ev a bottle and I didn't hear a peep out of the kid for the rest of the night. I slept hard. I slept like I haven't slept in over a year now. When my alarm went off this morning it scared me. I was in such a nice peaceful slumber. I get the kids up and go back to bed until they're done with their showers. Once they're done I drag my butt into the shower. I just stand there in the hottest water possible (yeah, I know that's really bad for my skin...). I may have fallen back asleep standing there, but I was rudely interrupted by someone pounding on the bathroom door and talking. I can't hear what the hell the kid is saying. I tell him to open the door. As he's hit by a massive cloud of steam Gavin tells me school is canceled and thanks me for not checking before waking them up. I say good, get Ev up, dress him and then you can go back to bed.
Once I finish my shower and get dressed i hear all sorts of commotion in the living room. They're fighting over who's going to change Ev's diaper. WTF? I change it and run around the house doing all of the things I should have done last night had I not been at the bar. Brandon goes back to bed. Gavin tells me that since he showered and is having a good hair day he's not going back to bed. What's wrong with that kid? Kyle wanders in from his night of snow plowing just in time to start my car for me. Not that it'll get warm or anything, but he does it anyway. Thanks bunches babe. I talk with him for a minute and it's time to head to the doctor. I scoop up Ev and we're out the door. I think about how much it sucks that me and the little guy have to go when yet again everyone else in the house gets to stay warm and sleep...... Or play Xbox and not ruin their hair.......
Thursday, January 7, 2010
It's Just Snow Assholes....
So my last post took a super long time to write. Do you know why? Because I went out to smoke and realized that none of my asshole coworkers had shoveled the walk up to the building. I didn't take a lunch because I have to leave early, so I didn't notice until now. It's snowing like there's no tomorrow here and people are freaking the fuck out. Me? Not so much. I grew up in northwestern PA where 3 feet of snow was no big deal. Here 3 inches is a HUGE deal. So, while I smoked, I shoveled. God forbid anyone in the warehouse do it. They're too busy sitting around with their thumbs up their asses.....
Now, I just get word that we are closing at 4. WHAT THE FUCK? The day I don't take a lunch to leave early we're gonna close at that time. Nice. Well fuck you, I'm leaving at 3 then.... I can be at home snuggled in bed by at least 6 if I leave here at 3. I work 8 miles from my house..... That's how ridiculous drivers are here. I'm already picturing the freeway now. 10mph all the way home, in my piece of shit car that the heat only works when you're going over 65. Fun shit.....
Well, I suppose I better get shit shut down and record the "SORRY ASSHOLES, WE'RE CLOSED" message for our voicemail system.....
Now, I just get word that we are closing at 4. WHAT THE FUCK? The day I don't take a lunch to leave early we're gonna close at that time. Nice. Well fuck you, I'm leaving at 3 then.... I can be at home snuggled in bed by at least 6 if I leave here at 3. I work 8 miles from my house..... That's how ridiculous drivers are here. I'm already picturing the freeway now. 10mph all the way home, in my piece of shit car that the heat only works when you're going over 65. Fun shit.....
Well, I suppose I better get shit shut down and record the "SORRY ASSHOLES, WE'RE CLOSED" message for our voicemail system.....
Random Non Emotional Things & Is There A Dr. In The House?
Warning. There's a picture at the bottom of this post that may totally gross you out. Uhh, I'm hoping that maybe someone suffers from the same affliction or is in the medical field and can tell me what to do.... I'll explain more down by the picture if you really wanna hear it....
Anyways, I just want you guys to know that Rock Band is killing me. The boys had their friend over last night and for 3 solid hours I had to hear Livin on a Prayer, Chop Suey (is that how you spell it?), Alive and something else that I have no idea what it was other than a bunch of screaming into the microphone..... Finally, after closing the hall door, my bedroom door and turning on music moderately loud, I was able to relax. How the hell Ev sleeps through all of this is beyond me. He only has trouble sleeping when there's no noise, you know, like at night when everyone else is sleeping.....
I previously mentioned that Kyle bought a house. His parents wanted to get rid of their rental property and offered it to him at a pretty good deal. He's been wanting to move out of their place (which he's never at, he's at my house) for awhile now, so it made sense. It's out in the "country". I put that in quotes because it's really not, by my standards, in the country, but for city folks it is. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm sure it's decent. I mean, what wouldn't be decent housing for a 20 year old? I have to take Gavin right past it tonight for soccer, so I'm going to stop in and check it out for a minute. He's spending his days over there doing little chores like changing out the electrical sockets and putting up blinds and all of that, which is good because he's been bored during the day since I went back to work.
Did I ever finish telling what he bought me for Christmas? I don't think I did. Of course I got the watch, then he took me out to lunch on the Monday after Christmas and gave me a gift card for a manicure at the local spa. He also got me the new Weezer cd, Raditude, and the newest version of Eminem's Relapse cd that has like 7 extra tracks on it. They both fucking rock.
This song, Can't Stop Partying is my favorite. I mean, who thinks to mix Weezer with Lil Wayne???? Awesome..
Obviously the video isn't for the song, but whoever put it together did a great job trying!!
As for the Eminem cd, well, I have mixed feelings for the Relapse cd. It's BY FAR the most disturbing piece of work Eminem has ever done. Words like, "I was born with a dick in my brain, fucked in the head....." it gets much worse from there. I bet his lawyer MAKES A FORTUNE off of him... Still, I love him. My favorite off of the original Relapse? My Mom....
and Same Song & Dance (not the actual video)
Especially how he calls out Lindsay Lohan & Britney Spears. Funny shit. Off the Refill Disc? My favorite is Forever (actual video)
The song Buffalo Bill makes me laugh too. But that's kind because I can't help but think "It puts the lotion on the skin, before it gets the hose again......" Silence of the Lambs, one of my all time favorites.
Speaking of suits made out of human skin, I could use one right about now. I'll skip some spaces, then explain.
Ok, you still with me? Lucky you. Maybe you're a medical professional, maybe you suffer from the same problem. I don't know. Kyle's paying for me to go to the doctor tomorrow because this shit has gotten out of hand. Evidence?
Anyways, I just want you guys to know that Rock Band is killing me. The boys had their friend over last night and for 3 solid hours I had to hear Livin on a Prayer, Chop Suey (is that how you spell it?), Alive and something else that I have no idea what it was other than a bunch of screaming into the microphone..... Finally, after closing the hall door, my bedroom door and turning on music moderately loud, I was able to relax. How the hell Ev sleeps through all of this is beyond me. He only has trouble sleeping when there's no noise, you know, like at night when everyone else is sleeping.....
I previously mentioned that Kyle bought a house. His parents wanted to get rid of their rental property and offered it to him at a pretty good deal. He's been wanting to move out of their place (which he's never at, he's at my house) for awhile now, so it made sense. It's out in the "country". I put that in quotes because it's really not, by my standards, in the country, but for city folks it is. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm sure it's decent. I mean, what wouldn't be decent housing for a 20 year old? I have to take Gavin right past it tonight for soccer, so I'm going to stop in and check it out for a minute. He's spending his days over there doing little chores like changing out the electrical sockets and putting up blinds and all of that, which is good because he's been bored during the day since I went back to work.
Did I ever finish telling what he bought me for Christmas? I don't think I did. Of course I got the watch, then he took me out to lunch on the Monday after Christmas and gave me a gift card for a manicure at the local spa. He also got me the new Weezer cd, Raditude, and the newest version of Eminem's Relapse cd that has like 7 extra tracks on it. They both fucking rock.
This song, Can't Stop Partying is my favorite. I mean, who thinks to mix Weezer with Lil Wayne???? Awesome..
Obviously the video isn't for the song, but whoever put it together did a great job trying!!
As for the Eminem cd, well, I have mixed feelings for the Relapse cd. It's BY FAR the most disturbing piece of work Eminem has ever done. Words like, "I was born with a dick in my brain, fucked in the head....." it gets much worse from there. I bet his lawyer MAKES A FORTUNE off of him... Still, I love him. My favorite off of the original Relapse? My Mom....
and Same Song & Dance (not the actual video)
Especially how he calls out Lindsay Lohan & Britney Spears. Funny shit. Off the Refill Disc? My favorite is Forever (actual video)
The song Buffalo Bill makes me laugh too. But that's kind because I can't help but think "It puts the lotion on the skin, before it gets the hose again......" Silence of the Lambs, one of my all time favorites.
Speaking of suits made out of human skin, I could use one right about now. I'll skip some spaces, then explain.
Ok, you still with me? Lucky you. Maybe you're a medical professional, maybe you suffer from the same problem. I don't know. Kyle's paying for me to go to the doctor tomorrow because this shit has gotten out of hand. Evidence?
Pretty fucking sick isn't it? That's my arm. My whole body looks like this, well, not everywhere. I've always had icky skin. Normally in the winter it's contained to my arms and legs and is never this bad. Now it's all over my stomach and back too. It's a fucking mess and has reached the point where it's no longer itchy, but downright painful.
What it's not.....
Contagious, ringworm, or something fungal. Hundreds of dollars in prescription medications later I know this. It's an allergy. The problem is, no matter how much Benedryl or Zyrtec I take it's not clearing up, it's steadily getting worse. I have a prescription cortisone lotion that doesn't work anymore and you're not supposed to use for major outbreaks because prolonged use will discolor your skin. If I were to go tanning, it might help, but when the spots are like this, they don't tan, so I'm spotted like a cheetah.
Anyone know anything about all this?
Wow, I just totally blabbered about some dumb shit and it took me like 2 hours to do it because people keep sidetracking me......
Replying To All Of Your Comments
So I figured I'd just post this instead of trying to address all of you one by one.
Secretia - First of all, I want to thank you for all of your comments. Without fail, I know that when I write something, you'll have something to say. It means alot. Thank you. Child support would be good. I mean, who can't use some extra $$. I don't get it for the other two, so it would really help out my situation.
Jeff - Yeah, shocker, I know. Yes, the DNA test was a home one that you do, then mail into the lab. The first time he did it, his swabs didn't have enough DNA on them and he had to re-do them. Ok, whatever, you know. It happens. I have emailed IdentiGene, who did the test to find out if I am entitled to a copy of the results. I sure as shit think I should be.
Anonymous - I've contacted my lawyer. I guess I didn't really think about that before I saw your comment. It sounds like she really doesn't have much in the way of legal recourse, because if she was willing to pay for the test now to find out, she could have paid for it when or before the kid was born to be certain. I want to take a minute to point out that Noah is a LIAR in the biggest of ways. Who the hell knows what he has told her. For all I know, he told her that I was fucking everyone in the hood that month.
Anonymous/Curious - There is NO WAY that he'll submit for another test. I'd have better luck just having the other guy do it and confirm or deny that way.
Curious - I know nothing changes that, thanks for your words of support. I like that you use the word fuck fairly often. That makes me smile.
Josie - Hey, when I say I've got drama, believe it girl!! And I didn't believe that whole you can get pregnant super easy right after you have a kid thing years ago, which is how I ended up getting pregnant with Gavin 4 months after I had Brandon. Oops.... Luckily, I took the extra day at the hospital this time around and had all of that taken care of. If only they would have done it when I was 18 like I asked them to..... Actually, I'm just kidding about that, if I didn't have Gavin, life would be SOOOOOO BORING.
I guess to sum all of this up, I'm taking things day by day right now. We're approaching that time of the month, so I'm incredibly emotional about everything this week. Poor Kyle. He's doing his best to deal with me and I commend him for it. I probably would have walked away if I was him. Instead, he went out and bought at house and is spending his days working on getting it ready to move in. Good for him, but that's another post.
I just got in touch with the company that did the test and they're sending me a copy of the report. I think I'll feel better if I see everything on paper in front of me. Tara and I have plans to go to happy hour tonight and discuss where I go from here, with regard to the other guy. We'll see what happens. Thanks for all of your support my people :)
Secretia - First of all, I want to thank you for all of your comments. Without fail, I know that when I write something, you'll have something to say. It means alot. Thank you. Child support would be good. I mean, who can't use some extra $$. I don't get it for the other two, so it would really help out my situation.
Jeff - Yeah, shocker, I know. Yes, the DNA test was a home one that you do, then mail into the lab. The first time he did it, his swabs didn't have enough DNA on them and he had to re-do them. Ok, whatever, you know. It happens. I have emailed IdentiGene, who did the test to find out if I am entitled to a copy of the results. I sure as shit think I should be.
Anonymous - I've contacted my lawyer. I guess I didn't really think about that before I saw your comment. It sounds like she really doesn't have much in the way of legal recourse, because if she was willing to pay for the test now to find out, she could have paid for it when or before the kid was born to be certain. I want to take a minute to point out that Noah is a LIAR in the biggest of ways. Who the hell knows what he has told her. For all I know, he told her that I was fucking everyone in the hood that month.
Anonymous/Curious - There is NO WAY that he'll submit for another test. I'd have better luck just having the other guy do it and confirm or deny that way.
Curious - I know nothing changes that, thanks for your words of support. I like that you use the word fuck fairly often. That makes me smile.
Josie - Hey, when I say I've got drama, believe it girl!! And I didn't believe that whole you can get pregnant super easy right after you have a kid thing years ago, which is how I ended up getting pregnant with Gavin 4 months after I had Brandon. Oops.... Luckily, I took the extra day at the hospital this time around and had all of that taken care of. If only they would have done it when I was 18 like I asked them to..... Actually, I'm just kidding about that, if I didn't have Gavin, life would be SOOOOOO BORING.
I guess to sum all of this up, I'm taking things day by day right now. We're approaching that time of the month, so I'm incredibly emotional about everything this week. Poor Kyle. He's doing his best to deal with me and I commend him for it. I probably would have walked away if I was him. Instead, he went out and bought at house and is spending his days working on getting it ready to move in. Good for him, but that's another post.
I just got in touch with the company that did the test and they're sending me a copy of the report. I think I'll feel better if I see everything on paper in front of me. Tara and I have plans to go to happy hour tonight and discuss where I go from here, with regard to the other guy. We'll see what happens. Thanks for all of your support my people :)
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Hello, Is This The Jerry Springer Show?
Remember how I was a little concerned about the DNA test? Yeah, apparently I should have been a lot more concerned......
I'm pissing around in the room and my phone rings again. It's her again. I answer and tell her I just got her message. She proceeds to tell me that the DNA test results came back and Noah isn't Ev's dad. My response? In shock, I said, well that's AWESOME. Big mistake, she then starts screaming at me about what a liar and a whore I am. I can't get in a word edgewise to even defend myself. This continues for a solid 5 minutes. Kyle, who had been out of the room when the conversation started is now standing at the door staring. He can hear her screaming all the way across the room. Ev is laying on the bed screaming. Finally I said, I have a screaming kid, I have to go and hung up the phone.....
{Edited to add. In the long run, it really will turn out awesome that Noah isn't Ev's dad. He's such a piece of shit. I know, I know, it was totally inappropriate in the situation, but mouth reacted before brain...}
Kyle looks at me and I burst into tears. I'm grateful that I'm not alone. I tell him what happened and he hugs me. I may be a whore, but I'm not a liar. I sit in shock for the next hour. From what I've read, there's only a small window of opportunity to get knocked up each month. I had sex with Noah during what would have been in that window of time. As I've said before, I was told at the age of 20 I couldn't have any more kids and for 11 years had been successful with that not happening. Well..... Damn...... I don't think I've ever written about the other guy on here. Or maybe I have. He was the one who was my breaking point in leaving my husband. He was the one that protected me when the husband went psycho because I was out with my friends. He was such a hot boy, he deserved better and I pretty much threw him to the curb when I started talking to Noah, even though I knew there was NO chance of a relationship with Noah.
Turns out, I got pregnant a full three weeks before they said I did because that was the only time before I knew I was pregnant that I had sex with him. And this may be TMI for you boys, but it was 2 days after my period had ended. Tell me how the fuck that happens girls? Isn't there supposed to be some sort of cycle going on in there??????
It's been 3 days now and I'm still in shock. When I hung up on Noah's mom, she called my mother and told her how I had lied and deceived her family. I got a text from my mom that said "I'm so ashamed right now, you should be too" and she won't talk to me. Then I got a text from my sister saying that I'm super fucked up and need help and that I'm not welcome to be around her or her kid until I get help for my obvious mental condition. WTF?
Do you see that? That's MY FUCKING FAMILY. Assholes. I thank God every day that I have good friends to hold me up when I'm in danger of drowning because obviously my family would like to just let me go down.
I still don't know where I am with the whole thing. I know that I need to let the other guy know he has a kid, but I'm terrified of how he'll react. I haven't seen him in like 14 months. I heard he has a girlfriend who's pregnant with his kid. I'm just so all over the place emotionally right now. Part of me just says "Tara, move on, you don't need to tell him." I'd like to do that, but the other part of me tells me that if I was in that situation and found out I had a kid and nobody ever told me, I'd be FUCKING FURIOUS.
Anyone have thoughts on all this?
I'm pissing around in the room and my phone rings again. It's her again. I answer and tell her I just got her message. She proceeds to tell me that the DNA test results came back and Noah isn't Ev's dad. My response? In shock, I said, well that's AWESOME. Big mistake, she then starts screaming at me about what a liar and a whore I am. I can't get in a word edgewise to even defend myself. This continues for a solid 5 minutes. Kyle, who had been out of the room when the conversation started is now standing at the door staring. He can hear her screaming all the way across the room. Ev is laying on the bed screaming. Finally I said, I have a screaming kid, I have to go and hung up the phone.....
{Edited to add. In the long run, it really will turn out awesome that Noah isn't Ev's dad. He's such a piece of shit. I know, I know, it was totally inappropriate in the situation, but mouth reacted before brain...}
Kyle looks at me and I burst into tears. I'm grateful that I'm not alone. I tell him what happened and he hugs me. I may be a whore, but I'm not a liar. I sit in shock for the next hour. From what I've read, there's only a small window of opportunity to get knocked up each month. I had sex with Noah during what would have been in that window of time. As I've said before, I was told at the age of 20 I couldn't have any more kids and for 11 years had been successful with that not happening. Well..... Damn...... I don't think I've ever written about the other guy on here. Or maybe I have. He was the one who was my breaking point in leaving my husband. He was the one that protected me when the husband went psycho because I was out with my friends. He was such a hot boy, he deserved better and I pretty much threw him to the curb when I started talking to Noah, even though I knew there was NO chance of a relationship with Noah.
Turns out, I got pregnant a full three weeks before they said I did because that was the only time before I knew I was pregnant that I had sex with him. And this may be TMI for you boys, but it was 2 days after my period had ended. Tell me how the fuck that happens girls? Isn't there supposed to be some sort of cycle going on in there??????
It's been 3 days now and I'm still in shock. When I hung up on Noah's mom, she called my mother and told her how I had lied and deceived her family. I got a text from my mom that said "I'm so ashamed right now, you should be too" and she won't talk to me. Then I got a text from my sister saying that I'm super fucked up and need help and that I'm not welcome to be around her or her kid until I get help for my obvious mental condition. WTF?
Do you see that? That's MY FUCKING FAMILY. Assholes. I thank God every day that I have good friends to hold me up when I'm in danger of drowning because obviously my family would like to just let me go down.
I still don't know where I am with the whole thing. I know that I need to let the other guy know he has a kid, but I'm terrified of how he'll react. I haven't seen him in like 14 months. I heard he has a girlfriend who's pregnant with his kid. I'm just so all over the place emotionally right now. Part of me just says "Tara, move on, you don't need to tell him." I'd like to do that, but the other part of me tells me that if I was in that situation and found out I had a kid and nobody ever told me, I'd be FUCKING FURIOUS.
Anyone have thoughts on all this?
The Holidays, Part 4 - Happy Fucking New Year
New Years Day was pretty much a wash. I laid in bed until 3 when I went over to my mom's house to have the standard pork and sauerkraut and watch Penn State beat LSU. After that we went a couple of houses down to Joel's house. He was hosting the Ohio State party. I never turn down a party at his house, even if it is watching the stupid Buckeyes simply because of the food. This guy truly missed his calling as a chef. We caught the 2nd half of the game and grabbed some grub, which included his famous smoked turkey with the rest of the hood crew. By the end of the game the party was showing no signs of letting up, but unfortunately I had to go. Joel has two cats and if there's something that I'm allergic to the ABSOLUTE worst, it's cats. I could hardly breathe.
Back home, showered, clothes (because I'm THAT allergic) changed and a massive dose of Benadryl later I felt better. The one thing about Benedryl I don't like is that ever since I got pregnant with Ev, it puts me out like a light. I was sleeping by 9:00 :(
Saturday was spent pretty much like Friday, laying around all day. Early in the evening Kyle and I were trying to decide what to do for the night. I walked out in the kitchen for something and when I got back into the room I saw that I had a missed call. It was Noah's mom. She left me a voicemail telling me to call her back immediately.
FUCK.......
Back home, showered, clothes (because I'm THAT allergic) changed and a massive dose of Benadryl later I felt better. The one thing about Benedryl I don't like is that ever since I got pregnant with Ev, it puts me out like a light. I was sleeping by 9:00 :(
Saturday was spent pretty much like Friday, laying around all day. Early in the evening Kyle and I were trying to decide what to do for the night. I walked out in the kitchen for something and when I got back into the room I saw that I had a missed call. It was Noah's mom. She left me a voicemail telling me to call her back immediately.
FUCK.......
The Holidays, Part 3 - I'm Going Fucking Insane
I'm a person with very little tolerance for even the smallest annoyances. Gavin, yes, he's my child prodigy. He's fucking great at everything he does. So, you can imagine after only a few days, he's totally awesome at Rock Band. Particularly the drums. He's got excellent rhythm, but my house is small and the beating of the drums can be heard all through the house....... At 7am...... I can't complain though. He gets Ev out of bed and plays with him until I get up, even if that means them sitting at the drums beating on them.
I'm annoyed from the minute I get up because of this whole drum thing..... It's a damn good thing I didn't get him the real drum set that he wanted for his birthday.
Nothing really happened for the next couple of days. I resumed my work schedule of 8-5 while everyone else in the house slept till noon. It's times like this that I wish I had a job with the school system.... Tara and I were still non-committal about having a New Years party. We just really didn't want all the hassle involved and neither of us had the money to do it up the way we wanted. Finally on Wednesday we decided that we'd have a small party. Especially since Kyle can't go back to the local watering hole and that's the only place that would let him in. I decided I didn't feel like working on Thursday, so I took Ev to daycare and slept in.
Kyle was kind enough to run all over our side of town with me after we got up. He even treated me to breakfast :) I made all the standard stops, grocery store, liquor store, bank, etc. By the time we picked Ev up at daycare (because they closed at 3) I was exhausted, but still had stuff to do, so no nap for me. Kyle laid down, I set out to make some 7 Layer Taco Dip and a party play list because I'm always the DJ. By the time I finished all of that and got Ev ready for bed, it was time to shower and go.
We had only invited like 20 people to the party. That's nothing when I had probably 50 at my birthday. At various points in the night we probably had 20 show up. We had Sweedish Fish shots and played Fact or Crap. It was hilarious. We almost missed the ball drop because we were all being retarded dancing and running around the house. Luckily I looked at the clock at 11:57 and we turned the tv on. WOO FUCKING HOO, Happy New Year....
After that, things start to get a little hazy. I do remember that my ex-husband showed up because Tara invited him. It was kind of weird to be the person who'd had sex with the most people in the room. That title is usually reserved for Tara. Ugg.... We were both wasted by this point, so we had weird conversations about Ev and the big kids and all that other stuff. He asked Kyle if I'd taken him to Vegas yet and I managed to blurt out, HE'S NOT EVEN 21. Ha, funny....... Dave showed up with his "girlfriend". I put that in quotes because I'm not sure what the hell is going on there. She's way too hot to be with him........ It was weird, but he's talking to me and Kyle again, so I guess it's all good.
Somehow we manage to get down the street and into bed around 4am.....
I'm really sorry no pictures. I promise I'll get my camera from Tara tonight and get the funnies up for you guys :)
I'm annoyed from the minute I get up because of this whole drum thing..... It's a damn good thing I didn't get him the real drum set that he wanted for his birthday.
Nothing really happened for the next couple of days. I resumed my work schedule of 8-5 while everyone else in the house slept till noon. It's times like this that I wish I had a job with the school system.... Tara and I were still non-committal about having a New Years party. We just really didn't want all the hassle involved and neither of us had the money to do it up the way we wanted. Finally on Wednesday we decided that we'd have a small party. Especially since Kyle can't go back to the local watering hole and that's the only place that would let him in. I decided I didn't feel like working on Thursday, so I took Ev to daycare and slept in.
Kyle was kind enough to run all over our side of town with me after we got up. He even treated me to breakfast :) I made all the standard stops, grocery store, liquor store, bank, etc. By the time we picked Ev up at daycare (because they closed at 3) I was exhausted, but still had stuff to do, so no nap for me. Kyle laid down, I set out to make some 7 Layer Taco Dip and a party play list because I'm always the DJ. By the time I finished all of that and got Ev ready for bed, it was time to shower and go.
We had only invited like 20 people to the party. That's nothing when I had probably 50 at my birthday. At various points in the night we probably had 20 show up. We had Sweedish Fish shots and played Fact or Crap. It was hilarious. We almost missed the ball drop because we were all being retarded dancing and running around the house. Luckily I looked at the clock at 11:57 and we turned the tv on. WOO FUCKING HOO, Happy New Year....
After that, things start to get a little hazy. I do remember that my ex-husband showed up because Tara invited him. It was kind of weird to be the person who'd had sex with the most people in the room. That title is usually reserved for Tara. Ugg.... We were both wasted by this point, so we had weird conversations about Ev and the big kids and all that other stuff. He asked Kyle if I'd taken him to Vegas yet and I managed to blurt out, HE'S NOT EVEN 21. Ha, funny....... Dave showed up with his "girlfriend". I put that in quotes because I'm not sure what the hell is going on there. She's way too hot to be with him........ It was weird, but he's talking to me and Kyle again, so I guess it's all good.
Somehow we manage to get down the street and into bed around 4am.....
I'm really sorry no pictures. I promise I'll get my camera from Tara tonight and get the funnies up for you guys :)
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