What's Going On?

Yeah, maybe I was listening to a little 4 Non Blondes there for a minute....  Don't be a hater.  WOW, it's only Tuesday and I'm posting again.  See, I told you I actually had stuff to talk about.  I'm currently hiding out from the warehouse guys who now think I'm their slave.  Actually, I have real work to do, you know, formatting computers and shit like that.....

Anyway, thanks for all the comments on the photos.  There are some more up there today and he hasn't even gotten to the ones that my mother would be highly pissed about yet.  That should be fun, should she come across them.....  She's disappointed in everything I do anyway, so why would this be any different?  She's a hater for sure....  Oh well.... Maybe that will be the scandal at family Christmas this year.  OMG, Tara posed scantily clad for pictures that are now on the internet!! HOLY FREAKING SHIT.  Ehh, it's whatever.  Nobody in the family is getting married, divorced, pregnant or announcing their homosexuality this year, as far as I know, so this should be the appropriate amount of scandal. 

Speaking of family Christmas, it's this weekend.  Ugh, I was just in Pennsylvania like 3 weeks ago.  That was more than enough for me.  It's just one of those things that I have to do I guess, but I'm not quite sure how all that is going to work out considering I don't have a car that can be driven all that way.  Hopefully I can drive my mom's car.  It's got more room for the kids anyway.  If I have to hitch a ride with my sister, I'll probably attempt to hang myself.  Her car is worse off than mine and her driving habits are, well, let's just say, SCARY.

What else?  Oh yeah, I finally got started on Christmas shopping last night.  That was fun... NOT.  Teenage boys are not fun to buy for.  They are super boring and their Christmas lists had like 6 things on them, all of which my mom bought.  Ugh.  Christmas is going to be light around our house anyway.  There's just not much left when trying to keep the lights on and pay court costs associated with the stupid shit I got involved with last month.

Never mind the fact that I absolutely loathe Christmas.  There's not room at my house anymore to accommodate a tree or to make it look like Christmas threw up all over the house.  I have no patience for any of that.  So yeah, I don't think I'm even going to put up a tree this year.  The big kids don't care and the little one will just knock it over, so why hassle?  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a tradition, whatever.  I'm over it.  Can I just claim Jewish and buy a menorah or something?  Seriously....  

I'd like to say I don't enjoy Christmas because it's gotten so far away from its religious meaning, commercialized and bastardized by the people.  It's not.  I mean, don't get me wrong, out of the 4 or 5 times a year I go to church, most certainly one of them is Christmas Eve.  Because that's what you're supposed to do I guess.  Well it was when I was a kid anyway.  Plus my kids like going so they can sing off key to every Christmas song known to man.

I like Christmas because of presents.  Plain and simple.  I like to get them, I like to give them.  I like to see the reaction people have when they're opening something that I've really taken the time to get just right.  I'm one of those people that pay attention to little details when people speak and file them away for future reference, unlike my ex-husband who thought it was great to buy me a hundred dollar alarm clock THAT DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A RADIO.

WTF?  I mean come on guys, you have it easy.  Even chicks that aren't girly girls like me, like to get jewelry.  I had a fine assortment at one time.  Watches are my favorite, mostly because I LOVE LOVE LOVE watches with super cool faces.  I don't know, maybe I'm weird.  Maybe I should tell you that the $10,000 platinum/diamond engagement ring and band were my favorite.  That would be a lie.  They made me extremely uncomfortable having them on.  I felt like someone might try and cut my finger off for them because I work in the ghetto.  My 1/2 carat diamond earrings?  Another favorite.  Why?  They're small and quite honestly, because I have like 6 holes in my ears, you can't tell the real from the fake ones.  They all look pretty.  Bracelets?  Well I don't have a great track record with them.  Once I find a piece of jewelry that I really like, I don't take it off.   With my job, it makes it kind of hard on bracelets.  They constantly get snagged on things and break.  I think ex-husband had bought me like three of them before he finally figured out they weren't working out for me.  The last one was a stainless steel braided bracelet that was supposed to be pretty much indestructible.  It did last longer than the cute little ones, but in the end I did break it.  Oh well I suppose.....

I'm single for Christmas this year.....  YUCK.  I had to think back about last year, because I thought I was then too.  Turns out I wasn't.  Hmm, how quickly we forget about things....  I guess it was because I couldn't really be seen anywhere with Kyle and the rest of my family that I forgot all about it.  I just went back and read a couple of posts from last year at this time and I was actually happy there for a minute.  Amazing......  This year I'm kinda like..

Well, I don't really know how to describe it, but I don't like it, that's for sure.....  I'm not going to find the Christmas spirit, I know that it doesn't exist in me, but I really need to find some sort of inner peace here in the next couple of weeks.....

Cuz You Wanna Take My Picture....

It's Sunday, statistically my lowest day of page views, so says Statcounter.  I guess I'll leave you all a present for tomorrow then....

I haven't talked about it on here because I didn't know when I was going to do it, but I was approached a couple of weeks ago by one of my friends I went to school with about doing a photo shoot.  He's been taking pictures for a long time and was in need of a new subject.  Any of you who have been reading around here for awhile know that I have serious issues with my body and looks in general.  Originally I wasn't really interested in it.  It was kind of a running joke between us with him trying to talk me into it.  Eventually I caved, because in all honesty I am an attention junkie and wanted to do it just to see what it would be about.

After some discussion and going back and forth about what I would and wouldn't do and a week's supply of Prednisone to clear my skin up, we decided yesterday would be a good day for shooting.  I woke up Saturday morning with a knot in my stomach the size of a softball not wanting to do it.  My good friend Drew (hey Drew, have you found the blog yet?) talked me down from the ledge all morning long.  I'm really no good with stuff like this, especially being sober and all.  Give me a few shots and I would have been down for whatever, but being as it was early afternoon and I'd had about three too many the night before, I was going at it without a buzz.... I packed up a bag full of clothes, not knowing what I would want to wear and he picked me up around one.

We headed off for a local outdoor spot to do some pictures there.  I'm not gonna lie, it was cold.  We hadn't gotten any of the snow that we have right now yet, but it was probably only about 35 degrees out.  Crisp, clear and downright windy.  My eyes kept watering during our time outside.  The spot was great and Jack was really good at directing me, since I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was supposed to be doing.... 

Once we got done with the outside shots, we headed over to his apartment to get some indoor pictures.  I'm not gonna lie, it was a little weird at first.  I mean really, other than talking to him on Facebook all the time, I haven't seen him since high school.  I started digging through my bag, trying to decide what I wanted to wear and he commented as he say appropriate.  Finally I settled on a short skirt, wife beater, and some super high heel sandals.  He complimented the outfit with some legwarmers since he's got a thing for socks. 

After the initial pictures, I warmed up to what I was doing and I got comfortable with all of it.  The thing that helped was that he didn't really want me to smile and be all cheesy, he told me that he liked more of the serious look, which made me more comfortable since I HATE smiling.  From the time he picked me up at my house to the time he dropped me off, I was gone about 4 hours.  He shot around 300 pictures of me yesterday.  There are only a few of them up, and I'm not sure if I can post them here, so I'll just post the link to his Flickr account.  Flicker.  Have at it, feel free to comment.  There will be a whole bunch more there by tomorrow night, so feel free to check back.....

Remember, comments = entries in my drawing for jewelry, so let me have it!  Hope everyone is having a great weekend :)

Untitled, On Purpose....

Well shit.  I told you I'd post three times a week, so I guess that I'll be writing all weekend long.  It's all good, I've been working in the warehouse for a week now, and unlike with all the drama in the office, I've had lots of time to think about things I'd like to talk about.  I'm gonna make time for y'all, I promise. 

Today?  Well, I figure I'll just fill everyone in on what's been going on.  Yes, work has been ridiculous, that's why I haven't been writing as I promised. Year end crap with about 10 less staff members than we had last year at this time has certainly put a burden on everyone here.  It's all good.  I'm thankful I have a job, ya know?  In the evenings I've either been doing jewelry or fixing computers for some spare money on the side.  It figures that I've got the most annoying computer problems to deal with.  They aren't like "hey, format this computer for me."  They're "hey, this shit is so fucked up it won't even turn on, but I need all of the 5 bazillion pictures that are stored on my hard drive."  Umm, yeah....  Ok then...  Is the money worth it?  Well yeah, it is.  Three hours of my time doing that is worth about a days pay at my regular job.  Doing the same crap I do at work when I'm home in the evenings kills me though.  I really should have thought my profession through a little better....  Oh well.


The love life?  Well, it's going somewhere I guess.  The funny thing is, I'm not sure that I want it to go there.  I've been hanging out with someone I vaguely knew in high school (thanks again Facebook...) for the last couple of weeks and we really get along great.  He had me at hello when I saw those eyes.  Kind of a green/blue combo depending on what he's wearing.  Y'all know how that does me in right then and there.....  He was on vacation from work all this week and spent his days getting up at 6:30 to take me to work and then come and pick me up each day & run me wherever I needed to go in the evenings.  He even went to Gavin's choir concert with us on Monday night.  It was weird, mostly because my family was there and I don't introduce really ANYONE to my family, but it ended up being no big deal since it was just "Mom, this is *, * this is my mom." End of story.

I just don't know about the whole thing.  First of all, I kind of feel like we're in this retarded dating phase, which we all know that I don't do well.....  That whole getting to know each other intellectually really doesn't do a whole lot for me.  I'm more of a "what kind of physical attraction do we have?" kind of girl.  And yes, I know, what's the use of having something nice to look at if it's as dumb as a door knob.  We all know that I'm shallow like that though.  Ideally, yeah, I'd like to have both, but damn, it's kind of difficult to find one of those that will put up with me.  I guess we'll just have to see what develops with all this, but you know how I am about keeping my options open.....  It doesn't help that my mind is kind of elsewhere right now emotionally, but that's not something we'll be discussing any time soon....

That's all for now boys & girls....  No song lyric, no catchy title.... I'm just kind of blank on this whole thing right now.....

Remember though, comments get you entered into a drawing for some jewelry!!! 

Once Again Eminem, You Hit The Nail.....

Right on the head.....

Friends, what are friends? Friends are people that you think are your friends, but they really your enemies with secret identities, and disguises to hide their true colors.  So just when you think you close enough to be brothers, they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin...

I have a lot to write about that's been going on, but truth is, I'm kind of down and out right now.  I wrote about Tara and Nicole last week and truth is, it's still bothering me.  I'm not really sure why, it just is.....  But I heard the song above, which is If I Had (in case anyone cares) and it made me think....  This is exactly how I feel about these two bitches right now.  I feel like I'm stuck in an at work version of Mean Girls.  Yeah, it's that juvenile....  But now Tara's upping her attack and starting to spread some vicious rumors about me.  What the fuck is this chick's problem?  I'm ignoring it the best I can at work, but God help me, if I see her out somewhere I'm going to jail for assault for sure.  It's one thing to talk about me, but don't bring my kids into it...

Truth is, I'd like to think I'm a good friend.  I'd do anything humanly possible for those close to me and I just got tired of giving all the time and having those two use & abuse me.  Especially Nicole.  Tara, well her dude is playing puppeteer with her and there's nothing I can do about that, so it's whatever I guess.... I do have lots of other friends and I'm going out and having good times with them, but it's not the same.  At this point things will never be the same.  The shit Tara is telling people and the deliberate things her and Nicole are doing to piss me off right now are just ridiculous.  I thank God every day that I have Sandi and Bridget with me at work to keep me level headed or I would have hurt a bitch by now and probably lost my job.  Anyways, it's all retarded shit and like someone wrote the other day "This too shall pass......"

So, what else is new?  Well, not a whole lot.  I've kind of been doing my own thing, not partying quite as hard, but that's hard to do when you're not supposed to be driving your car and it's too cold to walk anywhere.  I took the boys and we went to PA for the Thanksgiving holiday.  They were upset there was no snow this year to get out their snowboards and get some early time on them.  I spent Wednesday-Friday annoyed with kids, relatives and the fact I was stuck in a house with a cat, which I'm allergic to....  I was happy when I got to leave Friday after our shopping excursion because I had to have E home since it was Jordan's weekend.

Other than that, I've been pretty freaking boring here lately.  I have a jewelry open house on Saturday afternoon, then my boy Chocolate Bear is coming over to take some "professional" pics.  I just can't seem to get any pictures of my stuff that are actually decent.  He's got an awesome camera, so I'm hoping to get some good pictures because EVERYONE is up my ass about seeing the stuff.  It is really flattering, but I really want the stuff to be portrayed in the best possible light and the truest form, so if it's not, chances are, I'm not going to let it fly.

However all that goes, I am going to do this.  I've been bad, so bad in fact, Santa probably won't visit this year....  I haven't been posting as frequently as I used to and it's noticeable in the fact that even though I have more followers (OH HEY, BY THE WAY, WELCOME, I SUCK) my page views have gone down significantly.  I promise that starting next week I'll be posting at least three times a week through the month of December.  I'll try to make them interesting, but you know me, I go though spells.....  I'm thinking that each post will have something to do with a song lyric that I like and want to relate to the post.  Yeah, I liked when I used to do that.  What do you get my loyal readers?  You get my quality fucked up life PLUS, each time you comment, I'll put you into a drawing for a piece of my jewelry.  Those of you who use the anonymous commenting, put a name at the bottom of your comment (I don't really care if it's YOUR name) and I'll tally those that way.  You have to remember though, I'll need to know where to send the jewelry if you're the one selected, so if you're all weird about privacy & me stalking you, but still want in on the drawing, ya better get a post office box or something....  Guys, I know this really doesn't float your boat, but I have a really hard time with guy pieces of jewelry.  Consider maybe giving it as a gift to your wife/daughter/girlfriend/favorite corner walker maybe? 

Additionally anyone who sends someone to the blog that comments and says "(Insert your name here) sent me" will get an extra entry.  Just make sure to direct them to more interesting stories, you know, like last year at this time when there was far more going on in my life that was noteworthy.....  Are we all clear? 

Alright then, let the games begin!  'Tis the season!!

Because I Haven't Been Around To Tell You.....

I'm really trying to get pictures up for you guys, but I don't seem to have the proper lighting to get good pictures of the pieces.  I need to go get some better lighting tomorrow when I get paid.  I promise they're coming though...

What else has been going on?  Well lots I guess, work is keeping me busy doing things that have nothing to do with my job title.  They're not great things, stuffing Thanksgiving cards, tearing apart old computers, designing fliers for our customers, bullshit like that.  It helps break up the monotony of my "real" job, so I'm down for whatever.

Those of you who have seen my Facebook posts lately are very aware that I have something personal going on right now, but I don't really want to talk about it.  Let's just say it's been a major setback in what I would have considered an otherwise good last month or so.  Oh well, we all get what we deserve in the end, ya know?  The final result of all of it boiled down to, people that I thought were my friends apparently aren't.  Tara and I haven't talked in weeks (for what reason, I have no clue she's just been an incredible bitch since the Halloween party) and when she found out about my weekend from Nicole, who only knew because it involved my sister (who lives with her) picking me up at the police station at 5am, she blabbed to all of our coworkers what was, I'm sure, an incorrect story.  Wow, that was the longest run-on sentence in history......

Anyway, I've spent the last couple of days doing damage control at work and trying to win the war against her and her new leader, who is quite possibly one of the shadiest bitches I've ever met.   I've honestly never seen Tara as such a weak fucking person.  I guess it just goes to show that even someone you've known for 15+ years will turn their back on you for a man who has brainwashed them.  Nicole is no better.  She's a fucking follower to the max.  It's ridiculous.  Her and Tara have banded against me.  At this point, I really don't care.  I'm over all of it.  If they think that them not being friends with me is going to hurt me, they need to rethink that.  Am I sad?  Well yeah, they're supposed to be my closest friends.  I've truly learned who my real friends are over the last couple of weeks and consider myself lucky to have people like them in my life.  Tara and Nicole are as toxic to me as I was them and it's probably for the best these friendships have gone on hiatus.  I've also had to get rid of a bunch of other people on Facebook this week because once I blocked a couple of people, everyone was scurrying around trying to see if I was writing anything about them.  Directly, I wasn't.  Broadly, I was, but you all know me and my writing style by now.  I can be as broad as a barn if I want to.

Enough with all that.  The good stuff that happened last week?  Well, I found out my friend Chip is coming in town over the Christmas holiday from Arkansas, so we're planning on LOADS of fun.  Also, I got to go to the Ohio State/Penn State game last Saturday.  Although it ended poorly for my team, it was a good time.  I got to hang out with my friend Drew, who was in town to party and even though the night ended poorly, all around it was an awesome day.

What else?.....  Jewelry sales are going freaking awesome.  I might not have to get a second job after all if I can just manage this until Christmas.  I've got two parties booked the first week in December which will easily net me $500 a piece.  I just need to steadily keep working on more pieces and stop letting my mom snag them before anyone else gets a chance.  It's hard to turn her down though because that's cash in hand right then.....

I think that's about it right now.  I've got to get back to work, but felt like I needed to get this out here since Curious was asking what the heck was going on.  Have a great Thirsty Thursday everyone :)

Halloween 2010

I thought that inviting like 80 people to our party was a bit much.  That was my half of the invites.  I created the event on Facebook and added Tara as an administrator thinking that she would only add a few more people to the list since we have so many friends in common.  The next thing I know the list was over 200 people long.  What.The.Fuck?  Anyone who has been around us knows that Tara's house is 900 square feet.  Her garage, before they built the room out there, was the size of her house.  Even 100 people in these two areas was going to be ridiculous.  The week leading up to the party, I was both excited and terrified about what could happen.  Our parties get out of hand when there are 20 people there, I could only imagine what would happen if even half the people on the list came.

I was stressed about a Halloween costume.  I knew which one I wanted, but I wasn't happy with the way it fit.  Basically it was spandex.  Ugh...  I tried on a bunch of different costumes and didn't find one that I really liked.  Tara was being the same way.  We were a hot mess.  The funny thing was, this is the same thing that happened last year.  We suck when it comes to things like this.  I finally tried on the first costume I liked, but in a bigger size and decided that it fit well enough for me to buy.

Not the greatest picture, but you get the point.  Tara decided on Amy Winehouse and it was pretty hilarious.

Here are some other pictures that I thought were pretty good.  Some people dressed up, some didn't.  We didn't really care, we just wanted to have a good time....

 This is Chuck as Boner Boy... Yes, he was wearing a strap-on....

 Tim lighting his fingertips on fire instead of a lighter.  Tara's lucky her wig didn't go up in flames...

 Me being retarded.....

 Me with the zombie & Jim Morrison

My friend Tasha with all of her little boy's nightmares...

Did we surpass our record of 65 people last year?  No, sadly we didn't.  Did we have a good time?  Yes.  Well I did until Nicole, Guy and my friend who I haven't seen since high school, John, took off in my car.  It was late, like 2:00 when they left to go get more beer and didn't come back forever.  I was pissed because I wanted to leave the party.  Brian had texted me and wanted me to come out to his house.  Being as I haven't seen him in awhile, I wanted to go, plus, the party was winding down anyway.  For whatever reason, it was almost 3 by the time they got back and I was throwing a HUGE fit.  I grabbed my keys from Guy and stormed out the door.

I went home, changed clothes and headed out to BFE.  Brian lives out in a place city folk would call the country.  Those of us who have lived in the country would just call it a housing development 5 miles from ANYTHING.  I get there and he's not even there.  I text him and he pulls into the driveway along with 3 other cars full of people.  Great....  I'm in sweats because I was under the impression this was a booty call and I could get mine and go to bed.  Not so much....  I sit on the kitchen counter talking to people I haven't seen in ages drinking directly out of a vodka bottle.  People come and go and I'm not really concerned with it until one person walks in.  

Let me just say this, it's not that I don't want people to know that I associate with Brian.  There are just people I would prefer didn't know that I hang out with him, unless it's going to be that we're in a relationship.  Mikey F would be one of those people.  As soon as he walked in the door, I knew word would get out quicker than I could blink.  Especially the way Brian was hanging on me.  Fuck.  Mikey made a beeline directly to me and started talking about how he hadn't seen me in forever, asking a million questions, while at the same time eying back and forth suspiciously between me and Brian.  Unsatisfied with the way I was answering his questions, he moved off to talk to other people.  I looked at Brian, took one last swig of the vodka and told him I was going to bed, walking my drunk tired ass to the basement.

He sleeps in the basement, so you never have any idea what time it is.  When I woke up Sunday morning, I was confused.  I knew where I was, but had no concept of what time it could possibly be.  When I finally found my phone I saw that it was 11.  I needed to get home with a quickness.  I grabbed all of my stuff and out the door I went.  A couple of hours later he texted me telling me he was sad that once again I left before he woke up.  Isn't that how it's supposed to go though?  I mean, we had a good thing there for awhile and he wasn't interested in it being a relationship, so now it's just sex.  Why would I stay and make it awkward in the morning????

Yeah, I Know.......

I suck.  I owe you the writeup from the Halloween party and to fill ya in on what's been going on with me.  Sorry I've been MIA for the last week or so, but I've actually had to be (gasp) working while at work.  WTF?  It happens I suppose.  Hey, who doesn't want to get paid 20some dollars an hour to stuff Thanksgiving cards, right?  Fun shit for sure.....

Anyway, there hasn't been too much going on here lately.  Since I wrote the post last week about the jewelry, that's pretty much all I've been doing.  I'm really going to try and get some pictures of pieces taken tonight so that y'all can see them, even though they're flying out of my possession at an almost alarming rate.  It's kind of nice because I'm actually getting caught up on some of the behind bills, plus I'm not going out every night and spending money I really don't have.

Other than that, I've been pretty boring.  There aren't really any guys making too much of an effort to hang these days and quite honestly, I don't have time to chase them around right now.  In the last week or so I've hung out with Brian a couple of times, went and picked up Guy from Cincinnati to come to the Halloween party, and oddly enough even after I kicked him out of my car a couple of weeks ago, Saturday night I went out with Josh and we actually had a good time.  Weird.....

That's about it for right now.  I promise that I'm going to catch up on everyone's blogs today and am working on the post from Halloween right now.  Oh yeah, and I've gained a couple of new followers, WELCOME TO THE MADNESS PEOPLE!!!!