Honestly I don't know where time is going. Days go by with a quickness. I can't keep track of anything that's going on these days. Nicole keeps telling me that I'm on a path of self destruction. Admittedly, I am. I'm not sure why, but I'm just not happy with life right now so I'm doing everything I can to avoid dealing with it. The partying has gotten out of control again. I can't tell you the last day I didn't have a drink. Staying numb is good for me right now.....
Last Thursday Blue Eyes got rid of the girlfriend he didn't want problem. Turns out while he was at work, she got into his safe and stole a bunch of money and his gun. When he realized it had happened, she was long gone, leaving her phone at the house so he couldn't get a hold of her. He called me, a total wreck about the whole thing. Obviously since the gun was registered in his name, he had to report it stolen. I did my best to diffuse the situation over the phone and he told me he'd call me back after he talked to the police. When she came back to the house, she found him and his dad throwing her stuff out to the curb. She threatened to call the police and he said go ahead that he needed to report his gun stolen anyway. She acted like she had no idea what he was talking about and called the police anyway. Since where they live isn't technically in the city, the sheriff showed up. Actually 7 of them did. She spouted off all sorts of lies and thank God his dad was there to take control of the situation. Eventually she took off, leaving her car at the house for fear she would get busted driving without a license. It's still sitting in the driveway to this day, which is good because the car is in his name.
I went over there on Saturday night to hang out with him because he didn't want to go out. I really didn't want to considering the crazy bitch could possibly have a gun in her possession, but I wanted to see him, so I did it anyway. We laid around on the couch watching tv and talking. It surprises me how intelligent he is. I'm used to being around guys who are intellectually retarded, so it was nice for a change. He talked until the sun came up and I listened. I feel like a lot of stuff was cleared out of the way by just me and him hanging out well within his comfort zone. I'm still not sure where what we have is going, but I'm ok where we are right now, despite this whole no sex thing. Yeah, it's been a month that we've been talking now and I've seen zero action. Not that I haven't been trying, but it's been more than obvious that his mind has been elsewhere with everything going on. We had plans to hang out Sunday night, but he called and was puking while talking on the phone. Hotness....... Yesterday I texted him checking in because I hadn't heard from him and he was still sick. Yuck, that sucks... Hopefully I'll get to see him over the weekend, but I'm kinda busy. Who knows... I guess I'm just going with the flow for now.........
Unfortunately for the both of us, he's also on a self destruction path right now too. Things are looking up for him and all the drama that's been surrounding his life, but he's unhappy in the same way I am right now. It sucks. Sometimes I don't hear from him for days, then he resurfaces like he was never gone and we're good. I'm not sure how to take that because for the first time in my life, I'm playing the needy girl card. Physically, mentally and emotionally I need somebody there right now if for nothing more than a warm body to curl up to at night. He can't give me that right now, so I'm left wondering if any of this is worth it. I mean, at any given time I've got 5 boys that want to be with me and would have no problem filling the needs that I have right now. I'm hooked on this one like crack, but at the same time I have no problem hanging out with other people. It's all just weird right now I guess........
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