Melancholy and The Finite Sadness....

No, not the Smashing Pumpkins album Mellon Collie & The Infinite Sadness.... Though that album does happen to contain some of their best work in my opinion.

I just wrote a post and deleted it. It wasn't what I wanted to say I guess. I don't know, I'm all over the map today. Being pregnant seriously fucked up my emotions. See how kids wreck our bodies? When I was pregnant with Gavin, I got and still have chronic heartburn, pregnancy with Little E seriously fucked with my emotions. It could be that it was a traumatic time for me in the first place or it could be that Bipolar Disorder often rears it's ugly head in late 20's and early 30's. Thanks for that part of your gene pool Dad......

My mind is just all over today. I'm sad because the boy left this morning and won't be back for 28 days. Normal me wouldn't be affected by this. Normal me would call in a backup for the 28 days. Mental me won't consider this. I guess maybe it's different this time around. Last time, I had just met him before he had to leave. We texted off and on while he was gone and when he came home, the next day he was at my house and pretty much didn't leave for the rest of his time home. Well, you know what I mean, while I'm at work during the day, he's off doing whatever it is that he does, but at night, right back at my house, hanging out, watching movies and chillin. It was nice. I haven't had someone to hang out with like that in a long time.

There I go deleting entire paragraphs again... My brain isn't functioning....Maybe it's the ADHD... I should go and borrow some of my kids leftover Adderall perhaps......

Anyways, as a parting gift, I left this on the boy's truck last night....



Funny thing is, I put it on there at like 9 last night, as soon as it got dark and he wouldn't be able to see it. He didn't text me until like 9 this morning telling me he found it. Even funnier would have been if he would have driven all the way to Kentucky with it on! Unfortunately, it's just a magnet. Do you know how hard it is to find actual bumper stickers these days??? Damn near impossible. It makes me smile knowing I got one over on him :)

I guess I should probably end all this before I spiral out of control again. The melancholy and sadness are finite, I just need to get out of this funk I'm in right now. Happy Tuesday everyone! Hope you have a good one!!