Been There, Done That.....

Well, I'm all out of order today. I gave you the STP review, because it was quite possibly the most interesting thing I had to say about the weekend. We'll do it up quick for the rest of the weekend cause you're going to get four posts out of me today. Like I said earlier, I've got a lot to say.

1:00 Friday-I run like I'm on fire out of work, do banking, pickup Ev, clean out my car, yell at the big kids to pick up the pace and hurry their asses up (they walk home from school), and throw all of their shit in the car. We go back into the house 3 times for forgotten shit.

3:00 and we're off. I had to make what I thought was going to be a quick pit stop at Babies R Us to exchange a mega pack of diapers because E's ass has gotten too big for them. This was not to be. You have to have a receipt for an even exchange. I tell the guy how ABSOLUTELY FUCKING GAY that is, go over to the register, purchase the rest of my shit and carry all my crap back out to the car.

3:50 we hit the freeway.

5:20 rush hour in Akron....Dead stopped for 20 minutes. My mother left 30 minutes behind me and didn't hit this.

7:15 pull into my grandma's house having not killed any children on the way there. Nobody's home. They're all at the rehearsal dinner for the wedding. I immediately take 4 Benedryl because my grandma has a cat and I'm allergic to all things with hair of any kind....

8:30 Mom, Stepdad, Nana & Papa walk in the door. Turns out mom went over and crashed the rehearsal for a free dinner. Nice. I have a bologna sandwich. But it's the good bologna, you know that comes in the log that you have to cut yourself? Normally you have it with some crackers and cheese, I had it stacked 2 inches thick on a bun. That reminds me that it is almost deer gun season. I will have deer bologna soon....YUMMY.....

10:30 My friend from the good old days, Beth sees on my FB that I'm in PA and messages me to see if I wanna go out. I really do, but I'm so freaking tired, I decline. I go to bed (on the couch) because I'm twitching. My body knows it's Friday night and I haven't had a drop of alcohol in about a week... I don't normally drink when I'm over there because it's all back woods that are scary enough at night when you're sober, let alone drunk....

12:15, 1:30, 2:20, 3:15, 4:50, 6:20, 7:30- I shit you not, Ev woke up. He doesn't like to be away from his bed. It's not like he sleeps all night when we're at home, but it's never this bad. At 7:30 my Papa came in and took him from me. At 10:30 I hear him crying again so I get up. My mother has taken the liberty of giving him a bath with Dove soap, because "it's the gentlest".

10:45 E has a rash all over his body from "the gentlest" soap. Fucking great. You can't exactly give him anything.

11:30 I venture to Wally World to get a wedding card. Yeah, I'm a last minute kind of girl. As I'm on my way back my mother calls and bitches me out because Gavin's tennis shoes do not match his outfit. WTF? His shirt is black, grey and white stripes with black pants. His shoes, which are brand new, are black and white. She tells me that she's taking him for some proper shoes. Whatever. They come back with some gay dress shoes that Gavin is none too pleased with.

In this time, my aunt & uncle and their two kids get there. That makes 7 adults and 5 kids getting ready in one bathroom. Fucking great.

Oh yeah and I forgot to mention, I woke up Saturday morning with one eye swollen shut. If I would have slept at all I would have sworn that the cat sat on my face. I looked like someone hit me, fucking great considering pictures were going to be taken all day...

By 2:30 everyone was scrambling to get out the door and to the church.

3:00 wedding started, 3:20 wedding ended. I hate weddings. I used to be the single girl who was like, "Oh how cute, they must really love each other", now I'm the single girl that says "Damn dude, you're straight up fucking up your life by getting married." This was no exception. My cousin married a total bitch. Oh well, to each his own.

4ish - reception at the local Moose lodge. The first $350 in alcohol was free. That's a lot at the Moose. Peeps were getting shitfaced. Not me. We ate ham and potatoes, nothing fancy. We left at 7:30 because G was getting itchy to get outta there. We needed to come home so that he could play soccer on Sunday.

10:45 I pull into my driveway. Ev & Gavin slept the entire way home. Thanks for keeping me company boys. I was singing at the top of my lungs to keep from falling asleep. I lost my house key in my car and wedge my finger in the window while trying to get it up for Gavin to crawl in it. It's still swollen today.

We all pass out, happy to be home.

E is up and down all night again, though not as bad as Friday night. G gets up with him in the morning because I can't even function. God he's a good big brother. I pull myself out of bed at 11:00. By 12:15 we are back on the road. This time to Dayton for soccer. We tie, G has probably his best game yet this season and we arrive back home at 4:30. B stayed in PA an extra day with my parents and gets home around 6. I'm exhausted.....

If you read the STP post, you know the rest.....