Smile For Me....

Won't ya just smile? For Me?

Who woulda thought that the simple act of someone crawling into my bed at 3am would set me up to wake up with a smile on my face this morning?  Bottom line, Kyle is home and I'm happy.  28 days is a long time for someone to be gone.  28 days is a lllllllllllllllooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg time to go without sex.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all about a lil self love when necessary, but there really is no substitute for the real thing.

Though I only got to curl up with him for like 3 1/2 hours, it was nice.  He's taking me out to lunch today.  I'm sure it'll set off a whole new round of gossip with my coworkers.  They seem to be very interested in my life outside of work.  Some of them have had the pleasure of partying with me.  Some of them have been scared off because of partying with me. 

I work for a small company.  At our peak 2 years ago, we had about 80 employees, most of which worked here in the office.  When I started 11 years ago, there were about 30 of us.  A core family of people, very much Mafia like.  Now we're at about 50 and shrinking by the week.  This is the only grown-up job I've ever had, so I can't compare office politics here with them elsewhere.  I never wanted an office job, what started as a simple purchasing job ended up being me thinking I should probably get something out of my $40,000 education.  I'd rather be bartending (where I'd probably make more money) to be quite honest. 

Let's talk about the Work Mafia here for a minute.  It's quite simple around here, you're either in or your out.  I was "born" into "the family" because my mother works here.  There are alot of people who are spiteful because they're not part of "the family".  When Tara came to work here, she was also immediately part of "the family".   She's my best friend and she knew everyone who was in "the family" long before she came to work here.  Guilty by association I assume.... There have been several times where I've been singled out because of my status here.  It used to be often said that I was given preferential treatment because the Boss was my mom's best friend and someone who we spent a great deal of time with outside of the office.  I can assure you that this wasn't true.  She was harder on me than any other manager in this place, I can guarantee that.  She's gone now.  Downsizing they called it.

With the Boss gone, "the family" has changed some.  There is no longer a Boss.  Everyone kind of does their own thing now.  We see each other here and sometimes socially outside of work, but it's not like it used to be.  There are hardly any football parties where we are drunk beyond all recognition, holding up our red or blue stained fingers to indicate that we really did eat 400 jello shots and were too retarded to just use our tongues to get them out of the container.

With things the way they are here now, which essentially is everyone fearing every day that when they go into work, it may be their last day, there has been this breeding of hate and gossip.  Yes, I know workplace gossip has always existed, but right now it's different. With the downsizing, we have all taken on many more responsibilities.  Instead of just focusing my work day on all things technical, I spend most of my day purchasing.  Back to my roots here I guess.  People are angry that they're doing more and working for less.  Hourly people are only getting 32 hours a week.  Salary people have to take one unpaid day each pay period.  They trudge into work, always paranoid and always wishing they were somewhere else.

When they see those of us who frankly don't give a shit about our job status and still have a good time, you can see the hate in their eyes.  You can walk by and see them whispering to each other on a daily basis.  I'll say this I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF I HAVE A JOB TOMORROW.  I know I can go elsewhere, even in this economy and make more money.  Do I want to?  Well no, I've become far too comfortable here.  I may tell you that I hate my job, but in all reality, I don't.  It can be a fun place to be.  I miss the fun days, but I do what I want, when I want and nobody says anything about it.  While I'm here, I'm going to have a good time with the people that I like and not let the paranoid people bring me down.

There is nothing worse in my opinion then walking by someone and saying a simple "Good Morning" or "How are you today" and getting an eye roll or "I'm gettin by".  Ok, if I'm having a bad day, I may do that to T or one of my close peeps here, but I would never do that to anyone else.  I put on my happy face and smile and give them AT LEAST an "I'm good, how about you?"  if they're really lucky, they get an "I'm fucking fabulous today, how you doin?" with a big toothy grin.  I think it's rude to bring other people down because you're being in an asshole mood.  That's just me though.

So anyways, hours later here, back to the gossip.  Last time Kyle showed up, there was much gossip about who I was leaving with in the big red truck.  I'm sure this time there will be even more speculation about it because it'll be lunchtime and there will be lots of people coming and going.  Yes, yes, I AM that popular apparently.  No really, it's the fact that I don't flaunt my personal life around here.  Do I really want my coworkers knowing that I drink specifically to get drunk and I do it frequently, that I may or may not make-out with girls depending on how much I've had to drink or that I'm sleeping with a 20 year old?  I'm gonna go with not really.  Though some of them already know all this.....let's keep the rest in the dark :)

I wanted to leave you today with some random pictures, but Blogger is being gay and won't let me upload them.  I'll try later :)