It's The Freakin Weekend.....

baby I'm about to have me some fun.... Yeah, I'm not so much an R. Kelly fan, with his whole peeing on people and molesting teenage girls, but the song is appropriate for a Friday post and I'm all about appropriateness. Ha, yeah fucking right. I'm probably about one of the most inappropriate people you'll ever meet. It makes life interesting, what can I say?

So, what was supposed to be an innocent jewelry party at my house last night quickly turned into a late night drunk-fest. God it felt good. I haven't had a drink in like..... ok, well 2 days, but whatever, that's beside the point.... I sold a shitload of jewelry which is $$ for me. Good shit. Anyways, after the last of the bitches left, Tara and I walked down the street to Joel's house to chill on his swing. One drink turned into like 4 and before I know it, all the usual suspects are there. Once the old guys decide it's bedtime, the young ones head down to my house to sit around and drink some more. It's me, Tara, her man, Dave and his friend Ben.

At this point I gotta say something. We all know that Dave is in love with me. I've told you guys that he says that shit all the time to me and has no bones about saying it pretty much in front of anyone who's around. Funny thing is, Kyle is his best friend and while Kyle was home, I didn't see Dave more than 5 times the whole month. Now that Kyle has left again, Dave has blown up my phone every day this week. WTF? Kyle says that Dave "likes lickin on other people's ice cream cones", which is funny because Dave is a fat kid. But I just don't get it. I would NEVER even attempt to go after one of my friends conquests. That's just bad news all around. Plus Dave is soooo not my type that even if I wasn't doing whatever it is I'm doing with Kyle he still wouldn't have a chance. I don't know, it was all a lil retarded. Even later Dave, who was absolutely wasted, started telling me all these things about Kyle that Kyle would probably would be really embarrassed that I now know. It's a whole weird situation I guess.......

So anywho, we're up till after two this morning, Tara and I being the only ones who have to be at work at 8am... I was ok to get up, she was still drunk when her alarm went off. I suppose that's what happens 12 beers later. I'm sitting here at work today, being utterly worthless. Not because I'm hungover, I don't get hangovers unless I mix my booze and let's face it, I'm too poor to do that right now. I just don't feel like doing anything. I'm sure glad I have this job with no deadlines or important tasks most days. I did just spend 3 hours on the phone with one of our "technically challenged" salespeople though. I really wanted to stab a pencil through my eye so that perhaps I could just put myself out of my misery....

As for the weekend? Well, I have no car until Monday. Tell me, how the fuck in this day and age, can you not have a part for a fucking Chrysler in a metropolis as large as Columbus? Yeah, my shit has to be shipped in from Minneapolis. This blows my ass.... I guess I'll just ride my bike wherever I need to go. And yes, I'm well aware of the fact you can get a DUI on a bike.....

Tonight we're having a big bonfire at my house since it's cold as fuck here and the rain has finally moved out. I'm sure the ghetto stripper pole and/or the trampoline will be involved somehow. Tomorrow night is a friend's surprise 40th birthday party at the local watering hole, so it'll be outta control as usual.

Mikey, I'll try to get ya some boobie pics at the party since I haven't featured any nice racks in awhile. Other than that, that's all I've got right now folks. We'll just have to see how it all pans out, but in the meantime, I gotta get outta here and sneak a nap if I'm gonna be worth a shit tonight....

Have a GREAT weekend everyone!