I've been partying like a rock star since last Wednesday, no, not the one that just passed, the one before it. My body and mind are both telling me STOP, STOP, STOP. I can't help it.....
I'm my own worst enemy, a product of over indulgence. I've really been on a nice destructive path over the last week. Go big or go home, ya know? Let's see, where to begin?
Since I don't have a steady "love" interest right now, and by "love" I mean able bodied boy renting the other side of my bed on a regular basis, I've been exploring my options with the boys I mentioned in this post. Then I went and did something really stupid, but we'll get to that.
Wednesday night I went out with Nicole. She just moved out of the place she shared with the father of her child for 5 years. He kicked her out and said have your shit gone in 24 hours. Now that she's in her new place and has gotten a custody arrangement in place, she's actually enjoying a little bit of freedom. Good for her! What's not good is she always ends up dragging me wherever she goes and she isn't just a let's chill and drink beer girl. She's a HOLY SHIT WE NEED TO HAVE SHOTS EVERY 5 MINUTES kind of girl which usually spells disaster....
Anywho, Wednesday night, she got off work early and wanted me to come up to Lucky's for a bit to hang out. Ok, cool, I'm always down for drinking with other people, since supposedly drinking alone is a sign you're an alcoholic...... Lol, whatever on that one. I get up there and she's with some boys from work. And by boys, I mean maybe slightly over 21. Sweet, just how I like them! Unfortunately, she shoots me down as soon as I walk in the door because one is with his girlfriend and she's trying to get into the other one's pants. Oh well. Poor me.... Josh was texing me from another bar down the street, so chances were he was going to my house anyway.
We have drinks and chill for awhile and Dave shows up to hang out as well. He's always fun to hang out with. Eventually I get down to the other bar to hang out with Josh, who's clearly had 5 too many pitchers of beer after the softball game. I sit there for about an hour while he tells me I'm everything he's looking for in a woman, blah, blah, blah, he loves me. WHAT? This is clearly not the boy that I've referred to as "me with a penis". I feel like I'm in fucking Jerry McGuire or something, I complete him? And the major consequences I spoke of vaguely here don't matter to him anymore. Really? Because just Monday and Tuesday when we had dinner and talked soberly, they did.
While we're at it, let's just spill what the problem here is. Josh is Jordan's best friend. Jordan, as in the father of my child. Apparently Jordan would have a HUGE problem if Josh and I ever admitted we had a relationship. I don't see what the big deal is, but apparently I don't know Jordan well enough to know that he'd have a problem with his best friend raising his son. Whatever. Eventually I decided I wasn't drunk enough for all that nonsense and we head back to my house where he promptly passes out and I finish two more drinks to digest the things I heard come out of his mouth.....
Thursday morning is rough. I have to take Josh back to his house to get his truck because he didn't drive into town, he rode with one of his softball buddies. We're getting ready to get on the freeway and we pull up next to Dave who looks just as bad as we do, and he mocks putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. Good stuff.
Thursday is quality Tara and Tara time. I got some information on where Brandon's dad is living, so we decide to check it out and then go to ladies night at the bowling alley. Hello? Free bowling and $2 cherry bombs? I'm totally game for that. Since I wasn't driving, I made myself a 32oz. drink and we were on our way. Where is Nick (Brandon's dad) living? A trailer park on the south side of town is what I hear. Let's scope it out.
By the time we pull into the trailer park I'm having flashbacks of my childhood, running around barefoot, hiding under the trim around the trailers playing hide and seek. Damn liquor. It's dark and kind of scary here. We look for two lots that we were given as the place Nick lives and the place his best friend Travis live. My anxiety level is probably hasn't been this high since I saw this asshole last at the courthouse. We finally find what is supposed to be the place he lives and diagonally is the one Travis is supposed to live in. Lights on in Travis's place, not at Nick's. Ok then. We creep around a little more hoping to catch one of them coming out of the house, but that's not to be had tonight and we can't keep circling because there are quite a few people out and about in the park and pretty much every turn-off is a dead end..
Exit stage left and we're on our way back to our side of town and to the trailer park without wheels. We hit the bowling alley for a couple of cherry bombs and rounds of bowling where we each won one game. I'm pretty lit at this point, but what the hell, we decide to stop at another bar right down from the neighborhood to have one last drink. We walk in and this place is.... well.... how should I put it? A freak show. It was just weird. Now granted, this place is a little below par, even for our standards, but I don't even know where all these people came from because they sure as hell weren't the usual crowd in there. We had one drink and took off, hightailing it home. I checked my Facebook before I went to bed and had a message from Kyle that said
I want you so bad, but i know there can't be anything between us. That's why I'm staying away right now. Deep down i wanna stop and say hi or just hangout and have a few drinks. I don't wanna be a dick by not stopping, but it sucks because it wont work out and i hate knowing i cant have you.
To be continued.....
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